17 Hilarious Keep Off Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I keep falling off my bike.

It's a vicious cycle.

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/2040009

📅︎ Feb 27 2023

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Why did the rookie witch keep falling off her broom?

She didn't know how to drive a stick.

👍︎ 19

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👤︎ u/prlugo4162

📅︎ Feb 11 2023

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Should you keep a reliable knife that you broke the tip off of?

Probably not. There's no point to it.

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/rediculousradishes

📅︎ Dec 28 2022

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What do you use to keep your ig from falling off ?

Igloo.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/SaturnSunRoof

📅︎ Jan 30 2023

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What's the best way to keep milk from going off?

Leave it in the cow.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/EndersGame_Reviewer

📅︎ Nov 15 2022

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Why do I keep setting off the metal detector?

Tintin wondered.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/trinocent

📅︎ Oct 15 2022

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Got myself a sheepdog, but it won’t keep them off my neighbor’s land…

Should have got a border collie

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/Almost_Flying

📅︎ Apr 19 2022

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A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”

He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”

👍︎ 10k

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👤︎ u/rohanlahiri05

📅︎ Jan 07 2020

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I heard this great idea to keep kids off the streets

Sidewalks

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/Best_Poetry_5722

📅︎ Jan 20 2022

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What do you call a song designed to keep your attention off of something else?

A diss track-t

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/I5i1dur

📅︎ Apr 11 2022

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Why can't Barbarians keep their hands off their axes?

All that cleavage.

👍︎ 18

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👤︎ u/Irorii

📅︎ Feb 27 2021

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Players just can’t seem to keep their hands off this new board game..

Glue.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Suprmnstr

📅︎ Jun 26 2020

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Weightlifters on Craigslist keep trying to rip me off!

I responded to an ad for "free weights", and when I went to pick them up, this muscly guy answered the door and said they were $300.

Third time it's happened this week.

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/reyomnwahs

📅︎ Mar 17 2018

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Keep cow's off escalators,

You don't want to raise the steaks.

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/gaming_pidgeot

📅︎ Apr 25 2019

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I couldn’t keep my eyes off the singing frog

It was ribbiting

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/FirstSineOfMadness

📅︎ Jan 10 2019

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Me and my father were looking for something too keep the wind off us whilst we go camping.

Dad said mother was the best windbreaker he knew

Credit: my dad- 5mins ago

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/BritishBeatOfficer

📅︎ Mar 31 2016

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I keep falling off my bike and hurting myself

It's really a vicious cycle.

👍︎ 70

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👤︎ u/AlekZandarr

📅︎ Jun 20 2015

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