Jewish secularism Puns

Good day.

This is my question.

Hello friends -

here is my situation: I have been asked in a last minute crunch to officiate a wedding between two friends of mine who lost their officiant. One party is Jewish, but not necessarily actively devout/practicing. The other is not. I am completely non-religious, but grew up Lutheran. I know zero about Jewish traditions at weddings, but there are some traditions that s/he would like incorporated. I do not really know either of their families.

Some guidelines I have been given

-feel free to use humor

-feel free to add my own spin on things

The incorporated traditions:

1. enter Chuppah, and the seven circling of each other

2. the couple share a glass of wine

3. exchanging of vows

4. exchanging of rings

5. Seven Blessings

6. Breaking of Glass

My request: can anyone walk me through what this will look like, step-by-step? For example, I don't know when the entrance of Chuppah is (before going down the aisle? After? When is the wine shared? Before reaching the end of the aisle? Do I cue the breaking of the glass?)

Play-by-play would be great. I want to do right by my friends and I do not know anybody else to ask. Thank you!

I am Jewish but was raised secular -- the most we would do is celebrate Hanukkah each year. I still feel / felt like I got an authentic introduction to our faith because of my grandparents, one of whom would have been a hazzan if not for WW2. But as my grandparents are now passed, I don't have that crutch anymore, and I think it's a bit sad that my son won't get the same experience.

So does anyone have any advice on how to raise my son Jewish, preferably in the Mizrahi tradition . I know people are going to say 'join the local community' or 'get your family involved', and while I could do the former, I know I am going to feel so uncomfortable since I hardly know any of the traditions, don't speak Hebrew, etc -- and I live in a foreign country currently where I don't speak the language fluently.

As for family, only my more distant relatives still practice. Any advice? I'd appreciate hearing similar experiences as well.

I still have time since he's still only a baby, by the way :-)

Hey guys, I'm wondering if anyone has any recommendations for books to uncover/practice Jewish spirituality - but here's the kicker - without much talk of religion or god.

I've dabbled in some kabbalah books but I just find them impenetrable at some point and I switch off when they eventually start talking about god and the torah etc etc.

I was hoping there might be a secular book that perhaps looks a spirituality through the lens of Judaism but without any of the religious side? More of a look on spirituality from a Jewish cultural lens that is separated from religion. Tough ask I know ha!

I'm not sure what exactly I want to do with my life going forward, but I'm considering making Aliyah in the future.

I'm just not sure if I would be qualified to make it. I'm very secular, not religious in the slightest. My mom is a WASP white woman, but my dad is Jewish both ethnically and religiously in the past (his health deteriorated big time in the past decade and hasn't participated in the religious community in forever though).

I don't have any Jewish religious connections (like a Rabbi) myself or have any record in participating in the Jewish religious community.

My connection to Jewishness is simply from the fact that my dad is Jewish.

I went on Birthright a few years ago and they were fine with things. But from the research I did online, it seems like Aliyah has tougher standards than Birthright. And it seems like it's a big deal that it's my dad who is the Jewish one instead of my mom if my quick internet research is correct.

Any advice for me if I did eventually want to try for Aliyah?

I've dated several (secular/reformed) Jewish woman, and their families seem like they actually give a fuck about each other. I would love to have my family be there for me.

I love Jewish traditions and holidays, but I don’t really believe in any of it but Am so into the history. I feel like it’s important to keep up these traditions even more as a secular Jew. What do you think about this? Do you celebrate holidays as a secular Jew?

New here and wanted to ask the sub. Given that my dad is a secular Jew (sephardi and immigrated from Algeria to France as a child if you're curious) and my mom is not a Jew (never converted), I have been told my whole life that I am not a Jew whatsoever. My dad is secular, and my mom is culturally catholic (Europe) but also non-religious. Because of that, they never wanted to convert me or impose any sort of religion on me in any way whatsoever. The main reason that I'm told I am not Jewish whatsoever is that it is a rule of the halacha that you are only Jewish if your mother is Jewish or if you converted (which is what it is, not trying to debate it).

I'm now curious - if you're a secular Israeli: would you consider a child with a Jewish father: 1) Jewish 2) Half-Jewish 3) Not Jewish whatsoever.

TIA! Looking forward to hopefully visiting Israel on Birthright soon when COVID calms down.

I'm really not trying to be hostile or rude. I just genuinely don't know what this means.

I always thought that "secular" and "Jewish" were antonyms. I don't know how to conceptualize "Jewishness" outside of religion.

It’s been a year I’ve been practicing Judaism and in a process of conversion in my Conservative shul. My views sort of goes back and forth between Conservative and Modern Orthodox approaches.

When I inquired one Orthodox rabbi online if it’s possible for one to convert without divorcing my secular husband or moving into within walking distance of the Jewish neighborhood, he said no💔

I just found a MO shul 30 mins drive away from home, and I’m just wondering if the answer would remain the same for MO branches as well, if I just don’t drive to shul on Shabbat or something and if my husband doesn’t bring non-Kosher food to home.

HANUKKAH-

Dreidel bath bomb that would be shaped like a dreidel, with a "jelly donut" scent, sort of powdered sugar-raspberry; blue and silvery-grey color

AMERICAN THANKSGIVING-

"All But the Bird" shower gel that would have earthy, herby undertones reminiscent of Thanksgiving seasonings like oregano, tarragon, and rosemary

SANKT NIKOLAUS/SINTERKLAAS/SAINT NICHOLAS

A glittery shoe shaped bubble bar scented with Christmassy elements like clove and ginger with a hint of mandarin oranges

HOLI- a SUPER colorful Fun with scents such as chai masala, saffron and pistachio

ISLAMIC NEW YEAR-

A crescent moon hand scrub with incense undertones like frankincense and patchouli

KWANZAA

Beeswax naked cleanser bars in colors reminiscent of kinara candles

DIWALI

"Magical Mithai"- small solid shower scrubs scented like various mithai sweets, like almond kulfi and gulab jamun

CHILDREN'S DAY (JAPAN)

A carp shaped soap scented like adzuki red bean paste

ROSH HASHANAH (JEWISH NEW YEAR)

"Apples & Honey" -a potted body scrub to commemorate this traditional food combo, a sweet crispy apple scent

I've unfortunately had to use a script to go back through and delete potentially identifying information due to threats via private message. I've tried to keep some of the old comments that people are more likely to see up, but if you're reading this and wondering what people are responding to, I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you.

So a non Jew who would wanna do a Jewish studies degree course or even a general theology course, which would look at Jewish literature would need an היתר from a רב to do so ?? According to this prohibition or rule ?