A list of puns related to "James 2"
People always asked how I could tell them apart but it was pretty easy.
Jessica had purple fingernails, James had a dick.
John saw a tornado out the window of Frankβs house and said to Frank
βJesus man! thatβs an F5! We gotta get to cover Frank!β
Tornado rapidly approaches within 100 yards
John was looking for the cellar door and found 2 different ones
βFor Fuckβs sake Frank which is the best cellar!?β
With the tornado bearing down on them, Frank sprang into action and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel.
James Blunt
What do you call James Bond in a bath?
Bubble 07
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
It's been so long that I've gone back to calling it James
It's bonded, James Bond-ed
What did James Bond do before bed
He went under cover
James Caanine.
Viagra won't make you James Bond. But it will make your Roger Moore
Lebarn James.
James bond
James and the Giant Peach
Me: I want to name our son James.
Wife: Why?
Me: No reason.
9 months later
Wife: My water broke
Me: Let the James begin
James Bond's doorbell.
It LeBronzed James
James Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
For formal occasions, I wear my James clothes.
But James May
A young man named James came to tend to the lawn at the beach house.
He was mowing in a circular fashioned around the yard and though he attempted to do the rest by hand, he didnβt fare very well.
I supposed you could call it a quasi-mowed O.
Bond. James bond.
Boss: No problem.
(3 days later)
James: Boss, my brother is in town. I need the day off.
Boss: Wait a second...
But James May.
He knew them all, except for Alaska. He thought to himself, βCome on, James. Juneau this one.β
James bond
I burst into tears, after 11 years my son couldn't remember that my name was James.
LeWrong James
Yours pales in comparison.
Credit: James S.
Me: Huh, I forgot James Gunn directed this.
Dad: Yeah, the studio decided they'd give him a shot.
Me: ...thanks, dad.
Dad: Hey, I thought about it, and decided to pull the trigger.
He Bonds... James Bonds..
So I googled James Brown.
I'm doing a poster on Electron Absorption Spectroscopy, where we measure the absorption of 4 Dyes, and I need a title. My old title was "Dye Another Day" but I decided to make the poster paint themed as opposed to James Bond themed and if possible I'd like a title that reflects that. Thanks!
LeBronze James.
I have a few examples of what I'm looking for. I like them, but I'm sure the power of Reddit can come up with some that are even better!
William (Bill) Ding
James (Jim) Nastics
Bart Ender
Ted Manwalkin
Gustavo (Gus) Undheit
As you can see, they don't even have to be straight up puns when said normally, but their common nicknames lend themselves into it. Anyone have any more good ones? Bad ones are appreciated too, lets all have a laugh!
'What's your name?' Asked the chicken, 'Bond, James Bond. Whats yours?', 'Ken, Chick Ken.
Meet James and Sasha, both 23, in a serious relationship and madly in love. James is worried about children, as he knows there is an honourable history of dad jokes in his family, and he is not sure he can live up to these great expectations. One night, whilst doing the deed, the condom breaks. They are both scared but after a couple weeks and no sign of pregnancy, they go back to their normal lives, and James goes back to worrying about parenthood. After returning home from work one night, James finds a tearful Sasha on the front doorstep. He sits next to her to ask what's wrong. 'Honey...' She replies. 'I'm pregnant.' James wipes a tear from his eye, and smiles proudly. 'Hello pregnant. I'm dad.'
His name was James Pond.
But James May.
Connery introduced himself. "Bond. James Bond."
And Van Damme replied. "Damme. Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Jean Claude Van Damme."
What do you call it when the Italian Mafia fixes the awards for the best musicals?
Rigatoni.
What do you call it when a plate of bow tie pasta falls off of a skyscrapper?
Farfalle.
What's James Bond's favorite pasta?
Mini penne.
James Bond: No thank you. Dye another day.
I've gone back to calling it James
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