James (name) Puns

Dad: Because it’s a Spy Duh!!

I’ve got a license to krill.

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

I still wonder what he named his other leg.

It was a bonding moment.

James bond

James bond

I have a few examples of what I'm looking for. I like them, but I'm sure the power of Reddit can come up with some that are even better!

• William (Bill) Ding

• James (Jim) Nastics

• Bart Ender

• Ted Manwalkin

• Gustavo (Gus) Undheit

As you can see, they don't even have to be straight up puns when said normally, but their common nicknames lend themselves into it. Anyone have any more good ones? Bad ones are appreciated too, lets all have a laugh!

'What's your name?' Asked the chicken, 'Bond, James Bond. Whats yours?', 'Ken, Chick Ken.

Me: I want to name our son James.

Wife: Why?

Me: No reason.

9 months later

Wife: My water broke

Me: Let the James begin

A young man named James came to tend to the lawn at the beach house.

He was mowing in a circular fashioned around the yard and though he attempted to do the rest by hand, he didn’t fare very well.

I supposed you could call it a quasi-mowed O.

I burst into tears, after 11 years my son couldn't remember that my name was James.

His name was James Pond.

My dad answers the door and one of the missionaries says, "Good afternoon sir. I am Elder Mike and this is Elder James and we were wondering if you had a few moments to talk about the good news of Jesus Christ." My dad replies, "Wow! I had no idea Elder was such a common name!"

Mom, Dad and I go out to dinner at Iron Hill.

Waitress : Hi! My name is Katie and I'll be your server tonight.

Dad : Hi Katie! I'm Jim, this is James and that's Sue and we will be your eaters tonight!

Me : God Dammit Dad.

Took a look at her perfume. The name was Elizabeth and James "nirvana". She put it on and I gave it a smell. I told her "you know what this smells like...?" "what?" "...teen spirit."