James Name Puns

A list of puns related to "James Name"

My name is James Pond

https://preview.redd.it/9xul1iqrvuh61.jpg?width=577&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa91d7b8ec2bf5425cbe5c884fccf4de6c658b1e

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👤︎ u/TheRecklesschicken
📅︎ Feb 16 2021
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Son: Dad, why did you name your pet tarantula James Bond?

Dad: Because it’s a Spy Duh!!

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👤︎ u/RedWing_16
📅︎ Oct 21 2020
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The names pond, James pond.

I’ve got a license to krill.

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👤︎ u/Alexander-HamonChez
📅︎ Sep 03 2019
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My friend just had three kids! He asked me what to name them. I said ‘James, Charles and Li Zhao’ He asked me why the last one was Li Zhao. So I said ‘Because every 3rd person born in this world is Chinese
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👤︎ u/yeetyboi8787
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
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*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

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👤︎ u/gone11gone11
📅︎ May 06 2020
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I once met a guy with a wooden leg named James.

I still wonder what he named his other leg.

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👤︎ u/Saosin713
📅︎ Oct 17 2020
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I shared a urinal with some guy named James.

It was a bonding moment.

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👤︎ u/thelionmermaid
📅︎ Oct 17 2020
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What do you call it when two spies named james try to become friends?

James bond

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👤︎ u/Redtiger123
📅︎ Sep 15 2020
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What is a good relationship between two people named James called?

James bond

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👤︎ u/MasterOfTheSocks
📅︎ Jun 18 2019
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Wife: *is pregnant*

Me: I want to name our son James.

Wife: Why?

Me: No reason.

9 months later

Wife: My water broke

Me: Let the James begin

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👤︎ u/PeterPorky
📅︎ Mar 23 2019
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Classic literature/landscaping pun?

A young man named James came to tend to the lawn at the beach house.

He was mowing in a circular fashioned around the yard and though he attempted to do the rest by hand, he didn’t fare very well.

I supposed you could call it a quasi-mowed O.

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👤︎ u/occasionalist
📅︎ Jul 25 2019
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Today, My son asked: "Can I have a book mark?

I burst into tears, after 11 years my son couldn't remember that my name was James.

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👤︎ u/SuspectedAphid
📅︎ May 01 2019
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A chicken crossed the road and met James Bond

'What's your name?' Asked the chicken, 'Bond, James Bond. Whats yours?', 'Ken, Chick Ken.

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👤︎ u/jack_oss
📅︎ Apr 03 2018
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Did you hear about the underwater spy?

His name was James Pond.

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👤︎ u/TGP2005
📅︎ Aug 04 2018
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Two Mormon missionaries knock on our door

My dad answers the door and one of the missionaries says, "Good afternoon sir. I am Elder Mike and this is Elder James and we were wondering if you had a few moments to talk about the good news of Jesus Christ." My dad replies, "Wow! I had no idea Elder was such a common name!"

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👤︎ u/elkarcher87
📅︎ Nov 11 2013
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Going out to eat

Mom, Dad and I go out to dinner at Iron Hill.

Waitress : Hi! My name is Katie and I'll be your server tonight.

Dad : Hi Katie! I'm Jim, this is James and that's Sue and we will be your eaters tonight!

Me : God Dammit Dad.

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👤︎ u/Jambucha
📅︎ Apr 12 2014
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Dadjoked my girlfriend about her perfume.

Took a look at her perfume. The name was Elizabeth and James "nirvana". She put it on and I gave it a smell. I told her "you know what this smells like...?" "what?" "...teen spirit."

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👤︎ u/Nyphur
📅︎ Jun 13 2014
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