A woman on a tv show asked another character, "How do you know it's her appendix?"

I told my wife he must have read about it in the back of a book.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaPerseid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Is it safe to assume this subreddits fav marvel character is The PUNisher
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AussieWizard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
It's like I'm some sort of Khartoum character.
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter, β€œMom keeps asking me if I’m an Alice in Wonderland character and it’s getting really annoying!” She asked, β€œAre you mad at her?”

β€œGeez! Don’t you start too!” I screamed.

πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes two episodes.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HumaOfTheLance
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I made a pun image for a character from a video game i like, someone said it would fit in here as well
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Enfadia_Vryskull
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My kid has a toy set of different biblical characters, but one started talking and now it condescendingly corrects me all the time...

...what a little Noah doll.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Daughter's video game character got turned into a vampire, she didn't like it when I said, "That sucks."

Jeez, I make a perfectly good vampire joke and that's the fangs I get.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalprof
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
get it? because the character is more complicated?
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/That9gagDude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Remember when Garfield redesigned one of its characters, and we all had to get used to it?

It was the new Nermal

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I needed a new password and it had to be eight characters.

I had the perfect idea!

Snow white and the seven dwarves!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AtleeH
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
🚨︎ report
It was dress as your favorite nursery rhyme character at school today...

I saw a boy in a red shirt and shorts and asked what he was dressed as "All the rhymes I've red", he replied

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Sirius_lee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
🚨︎ report
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.

πŸ‘︎ 255
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A character you can’t play in a game was sliced with a sword multiple times.

It left them in pieces.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anxieturt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?

The dot "."

It has ended more sentences than anything else.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultimadark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Taken for a ride
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.

Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.

.
.
.
I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Oh Dusty.
πŸ‘︎ 39k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/galacticgoosebump
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Just found it
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Craftmine101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife to check the kale because it...

Looked a little iffy. She said "check it yourself, if its gross, dont use it." I said "i'd prefer you check it, I'm not a very good judge of kaleactor". She didnt even laugh or even snicker. Just an eye roll. This may have been my best pun in all of my fatherhood. Please tell me how awesome this pun was because, frankly, it's a killer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/charlesunit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.

Man: Wait. I can explain everything!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.

It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

πŸ‘︎ 217
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EternalMotivation
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Can’t figure out what game this is, could you send me a link?
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If a paid political message uses a pun to assail a candidate’s character...

Is it an Ad Homonym attack?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OneSidedDice
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Back in the 90s, i spent time on the set of Baywatch messing with a character named Mitch Buchannon. I got pulled off the set and arrested the same night.

Turns out it's illegal to Hasslehoff.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidBeaver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Thor’s brother is Loki one of the best characters in the MCU.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If you’ve heard of Murphy’s law, which is that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, then have you heard of Cole’s law?

It’s thinly sliced cabbage

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.

I could really see myself doing it.

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/P5ammead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How Long Is A Chinese Name
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/friesful
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Nathan Fillion is coming out with a new cook books based on recipes his character from Firefly would cook...

It’s called Mal-Nutrition

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badasscdub
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is Beef a bad password

It’s not stroganoff

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RetireRateRat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
The Ultimate Pun

This has been my favorite joke for at least a couple years now.

A man drives train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving, and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder. So, he's on death row and the executioner approaches him.

"What would you like for your last meal?"

"I would like a banana please."

The executioner thinks it's weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits awhile, and gets strapped into the electric chair. When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, an act of divine intervention means you get released.

A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After awhile, the same executioner from last time approaches him.

"You again? Shit. What do you want this time?"

"Two bananas please."

The executioner shrugs and hands him two bananas. A bit weird, but whatever. There's no way he can cheat death twice! But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again. The train driver walks a second time.

Some time passes, and the executioner is very busy. After another few months, the same dude shows up, apparently having run over 3 people with a train. Exacerbated, the executioner approaches him for the third time.

"Let me guess. Three bananas?"

"Actually yes! How did you know?"

"Top bad! This has gone on long enough. No more bananas! Today you fry."

So, the train driver gets strapped into the chair with no last meal. But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again.

"I don't get it," says the executioner. "I didn't let you eat any bananas!"

"Its not the bananas. I'm a bad conductor."

Edit 1: Thanks for my first gold /u/Lhjnhnas!!!

πŸ‘︎ 410
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DylanTheG999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
My Google password is "SnowWhite&the7dwarves"

Because it said I needed at least 8 characters, including caps, a number and a symbol

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
[request] puns for a character called Beach Hitler

I run a DnD game and am very bad at puns. Like all good writers, though, I thought of a character name that made me laugh and have decided to build a personality around it.

Basically he's a surfer bro nazi. Militantly chill. He's a villain in the game but will hopefully read as still kinda tempting to party with. The only thing I've been able to come up with that has any promise whatsoever is "Third Reichteous."

Thank you, reddit angels

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stiljo24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Finally found the square root
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pyk0th
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
My kids' diapers have characters like Eeyore, Tigger, Piglet, etc...

Occasionally I tell my wife, "We can't use that one, it already has Pooh on it."

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kuzinrob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Two Greek people had a poetry contest. One of them wrote an excellent poem conveying deep emotions. The other person's poem is just one-character long. In the end, the short poem won

because it is just beta.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/louisng114
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Pun Request!!!

Hey all! I'm writing a play for my third grade class all about healthy habits and it's full of TV parodies. One show is Game of Thrones. For example, one character is Jon Snowpea. Can you guys help me come up with some food or exercise puns for the full title of Danaerys: Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name,Β The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms,Β Breaker of ChainsΒ andΒ Mother of Dragons”. Thanks!!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AllieBallie22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Funny name for a Rat character in D&D?

I made a rat character who managed to lose his name, and now I have to find a new one. I was hoping /r/puns could help me make my DM facepalm.

Helpful information: Is aquatic (half-fish) Stole the core out of a water elemental once. Accidentally killed a dragon. Original alias: Mega Rat.

I know there's a joke in here somewhere, I just can't find it. Thanks for any help!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/markdeedavis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
🚨︎ report
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?

Such blatant stereo-typing

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shelvac2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Why is Font Town so crime ridden?

because it's sans sheriff

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slaying_mantis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
🚨︎ report
I read a poll in which every single respondent said that Wolverine was their favorite X-Men character.

It was Hughnanimous.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lipglosschaos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend said the new Google logo has no character...

I responded that it has six

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/witz33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2015
🚨︎ report
DC and Marvel should make a crossover between The Flash and The Incredible Hulk.

They could call it "The Fast and the Furious."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kwakerjak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.