We've been married 3 years now !!
It always involves them doing unspeakable things to me.
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!
Our new puppy is named Habibi but we all call her Bibi for short. Here are two real dad jokes I've told about her in the past few weeks:
- What do you call it when Bibi eats one of the Star Wars toys?
Bibi ate
- What do you call it when Bibi shoots out tiny poop pellets instead of her normal poops?
Bibi gun
Thank you, thank you. bows
... can we just call it e-mail?
He’s all right wing.
It usually resulted in a long sentence.
I just need a very short pun involving space and dinosaurs to go on the cover of an adventure book im writing for kids.
"A roarsome adventure" is too cliche and I'd like space to be featured somewhere. But there isn't a lot of room.
Thanks for any help, don't worry about them being dumb as a dumb pun could inspire a decent one :)
They contacted his next of Ken.
That's a damn good joke. I'm proud of that joke.
I told him i offered his director some assistance. They said yes.
Now I get to be a band-aid.
Thus began the Zeus Toot Riots.
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You believe in Santa.
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You don’t believe in Santa.
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You are Santa.
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You look like Santa.
A mobster.
I'm passive progressive
There’s lots of bullion involved.
Because that involves a paradox.
My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(
As long as it doesn't involve change
Because Elon-gate will go on forever.
I've answered 'I've never kept a lighthouse before, but I'm willing to try'.
She said she'll give me a call.
I was involved in very organized crime
It really is a riot.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
ElonGate would be really drawn out.
They reached a settlement.
Such a blast from the past
It was an odd love triangle...
...love means nothing to them.
That one takes the cake.
Hey all. I work at a place that sells medieval and Renaissance themed clothing, weapons, and armour. We are beginning to sell snacks in the breakroom for employees (sans vending machine) and I want to call the "shop" something silly/ridiculous. Ye Olde Snack Shack just won't cut it, I want a good pun in there. Don't hesitate to use fantasy inspired ideas either. I wanted to go with The Dragon's Hoard, but would rather have something funny as well!
White-out conditions blamed.
.....and most of these experiences involved Mexican food.
If you know any payphone jokes/oneliners/puns or play on words involving payphones please leave it in the coments. I didn't have a quarter to call anyone who cared so I ringed up redit.
You shot my Paw!
