My wife left me because I'm insecure.

Oh, no, wait, she's back. She just went for groceries.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Why did the pilot feel insecure?

His job was always up in the air.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fizzmore
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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My wife left me cause Im too insecure

Never mind she was just at the grocery store

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bribonzuelo92
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Why is cold water insecure?

Because it’s never called hot

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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I think my wife is leaving me because I’m so paranoid and insecure

Oh wait, never mind she was just getting the mail

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gquinn18
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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My computer said my password is insecure.

Well maybe if it wasn't forced to have such strict requirements it would be more confident.

πŸ‘︎ 295
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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I'm quite insecure about my home baking skills, though people kept complimenting me on my home made bread.

"Thanks" I said "I kneaded that"

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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Why did I apply to security

To take away my insecurities

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ujdiejH
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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What does a teenage girl say when she’s insecure about her nose?

Nobody nose what it’s like.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nameillregret
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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Hey girl are you HTTP?

Because you're really insecure

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insane_playzYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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There’s a science to this..
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scartol
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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How do your weak passwords feel

Insecure

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaasBeen3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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Pretty proud of my son ; wife isn't so much

This last weekend we went to an amusement park. Everything we went through the little things that spray water on you, my 9 year old would say, "Mist me." Every single time. My wife and daughter's reaction became more and more aggravated, but I felt pretty good about it.

πŸ‘︎ 497
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
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πŸ˜”Mom: "I know your brother is overly anxious, but I think the best way out of this is to get busy... Where does he work again ?"

πŸ€₯Dad: "He's insecurity"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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A fisherman is selling fishing supplies at a market

An insecure rich man comes up to him and asks, β€œwhat’s your net worth?”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/autonova3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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I was asking dad about thorium, and he hit me with these.

"Did you hear about the insecure nuclear physicist? He was always fission for compliments!"

A few minutes later, obviously having devoted some though to making me groan even more, he walks back in and says: "Did you hear about the other nuclear scientist who got angry whenever he heard about a scam? He suffered from con-fusion".

/facepalm.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUniPleb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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My wife left me because I’m too insecure...

No wait, she’s back. She just went out for coffee.

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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my girlfriend left me because I'm insecure

nevermind she's back she just went to pee

πŸ‘︎ 308
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HungryPizzax
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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My wife left me becauae i'm so insecure.

no wait, she's back. She just went out for coffee.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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