Why was the snowman rooting around in a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I was arrested for having jello in the shape of a gun in my bag

The officers charged me for having a congealed weapon

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MushuTheGreat17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Cashier: β€œDo you want milk in the bags?”

Dad: β€œNo, thanks. The carton is fine”.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Transitionals
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I got two cookies in one bag at the Chinese restaurant...

I was very fortunate

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Cashier at Publix asked if we wanted the milk in a bag...

I told her to please leave it in the jug.

My wife eye-rolled SO hard and then apologized to the cashier :D

The cashier was laughing though, so I'll take the win.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LS-CRX
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Grocery Bagger: Do you want the milk in a bag?

Dad: That's okay, just leave it in the carton.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
"Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshleyJack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Put it in the bag!

https://preview.redd.it/pyjgiuh2x2941.png?width=494&format=png&auto=webp&s=739701d0c4bff31b56188925a1d3eaeaef07ab1f

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HorsepowerYT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Put your seeds in the bag!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monguloids
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time the cashier asks my dad if he wants the milk in a grocery bag...

He says, "no, just keep it in the carton, thanks"

He always gets strange looks and that awkward chuckle from everyone around him afterwards

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2016
🚨︎ report
My 11 year old and I were at a grocery store. I got one of those flimsy bags to put peaches in. The bag ripped, my daughter laughed. I looked at her said oh no, I had a Bagcident. She stopped laughing.
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheeriomartinez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karma-Bot-Killer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Cashier, "would you like your milk in a bag?". My dad, "no thanks, keep it in the jug"

He said it every time, and now I do it when my kids are shopping with me.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanJUnicycle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2014
🚨︎ report
I was checking out at the grocery store and the cashier didn’t put the batteries in the same bag with my food and I said it’s cool go ahead and put them in the same bag I don’t care he looked at me with a straight face and said…

Is that how you get your electrolytes?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The prices of tea bags in my city have skyrocketed!

They're to steep.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Grocery store bagger asked me if I wanted the milk put in the bag or not

I told her no thanks please leave it in the carton

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tswaves
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My old man always thought he was hilarious in the supermarket; whenever the cashier asked β€œwould he would like the milk in a bag”

He would reply, β€œNo, just leave it in the carton”

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: The man who wrote the hokey pokey died today, according to officials they struggled getting him into the body bag because they put his right leg in, then his right leg out, in out in out they shook it all about.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the person putting your groceries in a bag at grocery store always ask where you want your eggs and your loaf of bread?

Because baggers can’t be choosers.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatoneguykc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I always keep an extra bag of tortilla chips in the kitchen.

You know. In queso emergency.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pfheonix
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Everytime I open a bag of M&Ms it's like the final question in a round of Mastermind...

.... I've started, so I'll finish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queen_zombie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
He has hide and seek in the bag v.redd.it/eu0npuj1cqr11
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ejaks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
The cashier asked me if I would like my eggs in a bag.

I said, "No thank you. You can just leave the eggs inside the shells."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ginger_Waves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
The detective found the stolen leather bag in under a minute.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no_di
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I hate when the grocery store worker asks if I want my milk in a bag.

It's so much easier to just leave it in the carton.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woodceilingfan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2017
🚨︎ report
The grocery store checker just asked if I wanted my milk in a bag.

I said "No! Leave it in the jug!" Can you imagine the mess?

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
🚨︎ report
"Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmmaJason
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
🚨︎ report
The cashier asked if I wanted my milk in a bag

I told her to just leave it in the jug

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ktulu92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The clerk at the grocery store asked if I wanted my milk in a bag.

I told him he could just leave it in the carton.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatherfinger420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DevMoodiPro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,

"No, just leave it in the carton!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chicnstu21
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,

"No, just leave it in the carton!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Xx_Layan_xX_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Cashier: Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?

Dad: No, just leave it in the carton!

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JOEYSARMY
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report
The cashier at the supermarket asked me if i wanted the milk in a bag

I said I’d rather they leave it in the jug

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NachNach16
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,

"No, just leave it in the carton!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The cashier asked if I would like my milk put in a bag...

I said no thanks, keep it in the carton!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bogdania
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he wants the milk in a bag he replies

No just leave leave it in the carton

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EMP52
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Cahier:would you like the milk in the bag?

No just keep it in the jug

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geordieelder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The cashier asked my dad if he wants the milk in the bag...

my dad responds "just leave it in the carton".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JustANormalHumann
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time I go to the store the cashier asks if I want the milk in the bag

Why not leave it in the carton?

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alisyn50
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2017
🚨︎ report
When the cashier asks if you want the milk in the bag

no leave it in the carton

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guccigangshit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks me if I would like the milk in a bag...

I reply, "No, just leave it in the carton!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2016
🚨︎ report
CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?"

DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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