Why do Swedish war ships have barcodes painted in the side?
So when they come in they can Scandinavian.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side
So I crashed the car and didn't talk to her all day for no reason.
When ducks are flying south, they fly in a V formation. But one side is always longer. Do you know why?
There's more ducks on that side.
(As told by my father)
A man on the side of the highway is running around in his underwear...
A car pulls over and the man stops to see why.
“Why are you in your underwear?” The person in the car asks
“Well, you are too, you just have clothes on over them.”
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
My friend had his whole left side cut off in an accident
Did you hear about the kid who lost his entire left side in a car accident?
When you see birds flying in a “v” shape, you’ll see more birds on one side than the other. Want to know why?
It’s because there are more birds on that side.
... I’ll see myself out.
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
When I woke up from a car accident in a full body cast my wife was right there at my side
To let me know that childbirth is still more painful.
When I was in the mafia I was working as a welder on the side, one day I accidentally welded two crucifixes together.
My boss is going to be so mad when he finds out about this double-cross.
Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side.
I mean, imagine all the peepholes.
What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable?
“Be careful!” My friend told me. “People in the UK drive on the left side of the road”
Thanks to him I guess I’ll be all right
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
I recently moved in with my rich dad to his house on the French country side. I’m afraid I’ll never be as successful as him and buy my own place.
I guess I’ll always live in my fathers chateau.
What US state is round on the sides but tall in the center?
An unsatisfied chicken lays in bed smoking a cigarette next to an egg that rolls to its side embarrassed
Chicken: Well I guess we solved that riddle
Did you hear about the man whose entire left side of his body was cut off in an accident?
It’s ok. He’s all right now.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
In some religions, dividing the opposite side by the hypotenuse is a sin
Whenever I encountered one of life's little traumas, my Dad would take me to one side and say "it could be worse - you could be submerged in water twenty foot down a dark shaft"
Bless him - He meant well
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round!
What side did the amphibian fight for in WWII?
Why did the college grad mention side walks in his speech?
He thanked them for keeping him off the streets.
It's not that drivers in Europe are driving on the wrong side of the road...
They're just not driving on the right side either.
My son and a female classmate of his conducted an experiment involving boiling different elements in hot water. They each stood on one side of the experiment.
Seems like there's some chemistry happening between them.
I was on a train in Mexico when its started crazily rocking from side to side
According to a new report, adverse side effects from Botox injections occurred in a large number of people last year
None of them seemed surprised
I got fired from my job of making a double or multiple fold in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching the top or side.
I once went to work drunk and put too many double or multiple folds in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching at the top or side.
It was replete with pleats.
All the boats in Denmark and Sweden are required by law to have a barcode on the side.
It's so they can scan-da-navy-in.
Scientists have finally figured out why, when geese flying in 'V' formation, one side is longer than the other.
That side has more geese in it.
Saw 4 baby birds in a nest, 3 were close together beaks wide open and squawking for attention. The 4th was off to the side beak closed head down..
I'm no bird expert but I'm guessing 3 females and 1 male.
Why do ships in the Norway Navy have bar codes on the side?
So when they come back to port they can... scandinavian
When geese fly in a "V" why is one side always bigger than the other?
Because there's more geese on that side. Easily my favorite joke ever told by my father.
My dad asked me if I knew why one side of the "V" geese fly in was longer than the other
Because there are more geese in it... Thanks dad
A fireman was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon, with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle...
The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and cat.
"That sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman said with admiration.
"Thanks!" the girl replied.
The fireman looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
The fireman said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Everytime I use the gym at my church I feel a stabbing pain in my side... (x-post r/dadjokes)
I guess Pontious Pilates just isn't for me
My Dad's reaction to this photo I took: "Do you know why one side of a flying V of geese is always longer than the other?" answer in comments
The St. Francis statue in my mom's garden fell over and is lying on its side.
Now he's St. Francis of Asleepy.
Three elephants are pushed out of a moving plane. Two land on either side of the river. One lands in the river. What sound do they make?
My dad, to me, as we're driving past a cemetery, "You know why all those people are buried in that cemetery on the east side of the road?"
Me: "No. Why?"
Dad: "Because they're dead."
What's the only US State that's round on both sides, and high in the middle?
My wife had a slight pain in her side
Wife: could it be my appendix?
Me: no, it's on the other side.
W: maybe it's just my ovary.
M: you also may be ovary-acting.
W: flips me the bird
My wife asked me to get in touch with my more feminine side
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side
Do you know why one side is longer when birds are flying in a V formation?
Because there’s more birds on that side.
When geese fly in a Vee, do you know why one side of the Vee is longer than the other?
There's more geese on that side
Did you ever notice when geese fly in a 'V', one side is longer? Want to know why?
There's more geese on that side.
You know how when geese fly they fly in a V formation and one side is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is?
There are more geese on that side.
When birds fly in a 'V' formation, why is one side always longer?
Because there's more birds in it.
When birds fly in the V formation, why is one side of the V longer than the other?
There’s more birds on one side.
Sometimes when birds fly, they fly in a V shape, and sometimes one side of that V is longer than the other. You know why that is?
There's more birds on that side.
Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side?
I mean, imagine all the peepholes!
When birds fly in a "V" do you know why one side is longer than the other?
Theres more birds on that side.
Watching geese flying in a V: Do you know why the one side is longer?
Because there are more geese on that side
In most places, the right side is considered the right side to drive on. The ones left consider it to be the left.
My dad was in a horrible accident yesterday and lost the entire left side of his body
You know how ducks fly in a "V"? Do you know why one side is always longer than the other?
When geese make a V in the sky, why is one side always longer than the other?
There are more geese on that side
In places where people drive on the left side of the road they don't have the right to drive
When geese and ducks fly in a v-pattern, do you know why one side is almost always longer than the other?
Because there are more birds on that side.
When birds fly in a V, why is one side longer than the other?
When geese fly in a V, do you know why one side is longer then the other?
That side has more geese in it.
You know when you see birds flying together in a “V” shape there’s always one side of the V that’s longer. Do you know why that is?
There’s more birds on that side.
Do you know why one side of the V formation geese fly in is always longer?
because there's more geese on that side
Do you know when birds fly in a V shape why one side is usually longer than the other?
There are more birds on that side.
You know how ducks fly in a V formation? Do you know why the one side of the V is longer than the other?
There are more ducks on that side.
Why do the ships in the Swedish navy have barcodes on the side?
So when the ships come back to port, they Scan-the-navy-in.
Did you hear about the guy who had his entire left side cut off in an accident?
So you know how birds fly in a "V" formation? Do you know why one side is longer than the other?
Because there are more birds on that side.
You know when you see birds flying in a "V" and one side is longer than the other? Do you know why that is?
Because there's more birds on that side.
Do you know why Geese when flying in a "V" formation have more birds on one side than the other?
Because there are more Geese on that side.
Did you hear about the guy in that terrible accident who lost the entire left side of his body?
It's okay, he's all right now.
When geese fly in a "V", one side is longer than the other. Do you know why?
Did you hear about the guy who lost the entire left side of his body in an accident?
don’t worry…..he’s all right now.
When birds fly in a "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other side?
There are more birds on one side.
When canadian geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer than the other. Do you know why?
It's got more geese in it.
When birds are flying in a V-formation, why is one side of the "V" longer than the other?
...
Because there are more birds on that side.
When birds fly in the "V" formation why is one side longer than the other?
Because there is more birds on that side.
Source: actually told to me by my dad.
When my dad was quizing me on Geography: Which US state is round on the sides and high in the middle?
Wanna know why when birds fly in a 'V' one sides longer?
Cuz there are more birds on that side.
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