I wish my family wouldn't make such a big deal over not picking up dropped ice cubes.

It's just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snowdoggo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Why can't Neo eat his ice cream?

Because there is no spoon

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/localgasgiant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Why won't Rick Astly ever take his girlfriend out for an ice cream date?

Cuz he'll never dessert you...

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Why didn’t my boyfriend laugh at my awesome ice cream joke?

Because he was laughtose intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hankyep
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Why didn't you eat your espresso and ice cream?

Affogato.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Why couldn’t the colour blind man sell ice cream?

His cones don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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If an ice-cream franchise can't pay its power bills...

I guess it will go into liquidation

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beware_the_noid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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Why didn't the hipster like his ice-cream?

It was way too vanilla.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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My son just played "Don't Break The Ice" by himself with two hammers and exclaimed "I won!"

To which I replied "but on the other hand, you lost"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/badenglishihave
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Ice Cube ain't playing around!
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nascarfan624
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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I usually don’t tell Titanic Jokes, but when I do, I break the Ice
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/josefcvs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Kids: Hey dad, Don Lemon is interviewing Ice-T on TV!

Dad: Half Lemon, half Ice-T? Why didn't you just save time and say it was Arnold Palmer?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. Then told me I was terrible with directions. And then she added that I should stop cross dressing in her clothes. She also didn't like the female neighbor sun bathing nude in her backyard.

I nearly shit her pants, even though the ice-incident was water under the fridge! I was on the fence about the neighbor sun-bathing nude, but I packed her things and right anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Ice Cube and Ice T have a new album coming out…

I hear it’s β€œone cold drink”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustSomeGuy_Idk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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I couldn’t find my car scraper this morning so had to use a store discount card to scrape the ice...

Didn’t really work though, I only got 20% off

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MARKHENRY88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Dear dairy, I can't stop thinking about ice cream, cheese, and butter

Crap, Dear diary...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jskoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Sir, this is a Starbucks, we don't serve dry ice.

Me: You'd be a lot cooler if you did.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/virtual_no_body
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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TIL you can't eat ice cream in the military

Apparently you get arrested for desserting.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
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I don't know why ice is such a hot commodity

I mean it's 180Β°^(F) below the boiling point.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister-Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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An ice fisherman wasn't having any luck.

Seeing a small boy nearby with several fish, he asked the boy's secret.

"Rrrp rr rrrr rrrm," the boy said.

"What?"

The boy spat into his hand. "Keep your worms warm!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenTree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
When Ice-T was a burgeoning rapper,

Did he call himself Green-T?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
When you can't decide between taking over the world or getting ice cream... imgur.com/gallery/sHN6v3J
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheyCallMeCactus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2015
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When I can't decide which dessert to get, I tend to go with fruit flavored ice cream.

It's usually a sherbet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spruce_sprucerton
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
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Ice T, and other punny art nabhan.deviantart.com/gal…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emilvikstrom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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Client says to me that he can't find his ice cube CD.

I asked if anything was damaged when it melted.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jssanga
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2016
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t find my car scraper this morning so I had to use a store discount card to scrape the ice

It didn’t really work though, only got 20% off

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jedmilne06
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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