Ica River Puns

https://www.mturk.com/mturk/searchbar?selectedSearchType=hitgroups&requesterId=A1PM9YX6091Q0K

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

NGO director Jo McRowan lies about Christmas celebrations being banned in Uttarakhand to malign Hindutva, apologises after being called out

https://www.opindia.com/2021/12/ngo-director-lies-about-christmas-celebrations-banned-in-uttarakhand-apologises-later/

Jo McRowan & her husband Ravi Chopra run multiple foundations in Uttarakhand. First on Ravi Chopra:

#Activist who was earlier appointed by Supreme Court in High Powered Committee to decide the "environment impact" of roads in Indo-China border areas, whose analysis is being cited in the case to scrap the border defense roads and on basis of whose analysis, SC had stayed many hydel projects based on his recommendations, gets funding from govt of Germany & Nepal NGO with China focus & individuals from Hong Kong.

Ravi Chopra was the only individual in SC appointed committee who was against wider defense roads on Indo-China border.

>Chopra wrote, “A section of the defence road to the India-China border and a bridge across the Rishiganga river on that road have been swept away, lending credence to our argument for disaster resilience in the region.”

>Chopra further said that in a recent report submitted by him and two other members of the HPC to the apex court, they had pointed out that “disaster resilience is more critical than simply wide highways.” "Several chronic landslide-prone locations and stretches, where the slope stability is precarious, exist on the three Char Dham highways identified by the Ministry of Defence (MoD) as defence feeder roads. Ministry of road transport & highways (MoRTH) data submitted to the HPC has identified 161 sensitive locations in 574 km, which is about one location every 3.5 km,” he said in the letter.

Supreme Court appointed the same Germany & China funded expert to decide whether hydel projects should be allowed on Indo-China border & 24 hydel power projects in Uttarakhand were stayed by Supreme Court based on his recommendations.

> He further said that “no decision, however, has yet been taken on under-construction or commissioned projects.” “In view of the precious ecology and fragility of the region, the concerned authorities could have and should have taken a view on these projects. Unfortunately, all the under-construction projects continued their construction unhindered.

https://archive.md/hohc1

Ravi Chopra is the Director of People's Science Institute, Dehra Doon and a Managing Trustee

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

But let me give it a shot.

He’s the new temp.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

NGO director Jo McRowan lies about Christmas celebrations being banned in Uttarakhand to malign Hindutva, apologises after being called out

https://www.opindia.com/2021/12/ngo-director-lies-about-christmas-celebrations-banned-in-uttarakhand-apologises-later/

Jo McRowan & her husband Ravi Chopra run multiple foundations in Uttarakhand. First on Ravi Chopra:

#Activist who was earlier appointed by Supreme Court in High Powered Committee to decide the "environment impact" of roads in Indo-China border areas, whose analysis is being cited in the case to scrap the border defense roads and on basis of whose analysis, SC had stayed many hydel projects based on his recommendations, gets funding from govt of Germany & Nepal NGO with China focus & individuals from Hong Kong.

Ravi Chopra was the only individual in SC appointed committee who was against wider defense roads on Indo-China border.

>Chopra wrote, “A section of the defence road to the India-China border and a bridge across the Rishiganga river on that road have been swept away, lending credence to our argument for disaster resilience in the region.”

>Chopra further said that in a recent report submitted by him and two other members of the HPC to the apex court, they had pointed out that “disaster resilience is more critical than simply wide highways.” "Several chronic landslide-prone locations and stretches, where the slope stability is precarious, exist on the three Char Dham highways identified by the Ministry of Defence (MoD) as defence feeder roads. Ministry of road transport & highways (MoRTH) data submitted to the HPC has identified 161 sensitive locations in 574 km, which is about one location every 3.5 km,” he said in the letter.

Supreme Court appointed the same Germany & China funded expert to decide whether hydel projects should be allowed on Indo-China border & 24 hydel power projects in Uttarakhand were stayed by Supreme Court based on his recommendations.

> He further said that “no decision, however, has yet been taken on under-construction or commissioned projects.” “In view of the precious ecology and fragility of the region, the concerned authorities could have and should have taken a view on these projects. Unfortunately, all the under-construction projects continued their construction unhindered.

https://archive.md/hohc1

Ravi Chopra is the Director of People's Science Institute, Dehra Doon and a Managing Trustee