Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
I just went to get my glasses fixed and you’ll never guess who I ran into when I was there!
That’s right!
.... Everyone.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, “If you cross this, I’ll hit you in the face.”
/r/Jokes/comments/jx9abu/…
I’ll tell you what gets me down.
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"..
I’ll tell you what often gets over looked
I hate those people who come and pound on your door, telling you to get out or you’ll burn.
Two kids were on the playground, about to get in a fight. One drew a line in the sand and told the other, “If you cross this line, I’ll punch you in the face.”
When you get into an argument about seeds and nuts " I'll cashew outside how bout dah"
Dad: Waiter, my wife spilled her water! Waiter: No problem, sir. I’ll get you another one.
Dad: Great! Make sure the next one likes football.
So a man walks into a diner and says to the waiter “I’ll take a cup of coffee with no creamer.” And then the waiter says “Sorry sir, we’re out of creamer. Can I get you a cup of coffee with no milk?”
My 6yo son me. Me: "Don't eat all of those Swedish fish at once you get a stomachache." Him: "I won't Daddy. I'll eat them one at a time."
Apparently if you eat a polar bear's liver you'll get sick from too much vitamin A; someone suggested testing this so I called the butcher and asked them to send some over...
...But unfortunately they said they don't deliver polar bear.
2 drunk guys getting into a fight. One gets up and draws a line on the ground. He says "you cross this line and I'll punch you in the face".
That was the punchline...
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, “If you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face."
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get “saved” or you'll “burn”
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get “saved” or you'll “burn”
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get “saved” or you'll “burn”
Stupid Firemen
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get “saved” or you'll “burn”
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"
I'll tell you what often gets overlooked
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