I want to start an automobile manufacturing company called "Huff"

So customers at the dealerships can leave in a Huff.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qaddosh
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
People keep telling me I know Justin Huff

But I’ve never met the guy!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beaverpudding
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know you can hire a guide to take you through the labyrinth in sixty seconds?

It's a minute tour.

πŸ‘︎ 180
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mahare
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do ants take to get high?

Antacid

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
An American is working out

β€œThis workout is intense!” He huffs to his friend. β€œMy heart is pounding!”

β€œHuh?” Says the friend.

β€œOh, sorry, I forgot you’re European. My heart is β€˜kilogramming’.” He replies.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCVisNih
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Being a teacher requires patience

I was at a restaurant with a friend and my girlfriend yesterday for an early dinner and we started discussing the difficulties of being a teacher. My friend then said "i just don't have the patience to be a teacher." I hesitated for a second, out of cowardice, but then replied with "teachers have students, not patients." There were lots of cringes. My girlfriend actually laughed and then said aloud that she hated herself for doing so. I think she's a keeper. :)

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guitarza
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2015
🚨︎ report
What's the best material to build a house out of?

Wooden you like to know!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zeekblitz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Three little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, β€œI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, β€œLet’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, β€œLittle Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, β€œNo way JosΓ©! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, β€œThen I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Insulting bus driver.

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sasquatchit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.