House of cards Puns

I’m a Rachel Brosnafan.

Cardboard.

It was a massive blow

I think it was unintentional but the dialogue went:

Frank: Are you coming to the memorial today?

Claire: Do I have to?

Frank: No.

Claire: I'm buried right now.

Frank: Fine.

I put up Punderdome cards on my door every day. Today's cards were too much fun not to share. What else can you come up with?

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Project Run-a-way

America's Next Top Money Launderer

Keeping Up with the Car-Jackings

Naked & Public Exposure

My Solitary Confinement Life

The Real House-arrest Wives

The Great British Breaking & Entering

So You Think You Can Drink & Drive?

America's Got Theft

Pawn(ing Stolen Goods) Stars

Jersey Shore You Should Steal That Car

Who Wants to be an Arrested Felon?

Say Yes to the Drugs

Arson Daily

What else do can you think of?!

Carl had this calling card of his. When he was nearly done burgling a house, he would put a brick inside the victim's washing machine, and switch it on. The washing machine would destroy itself, and the owners would know that the perpetrator could only be Carl.

Carl's number eventually came up, when he burgled a house with three savage guard dogs. They put an end to his burglary career.

I guess you could say, washing machines live longer with Carl gone.

Dad: Do you have a date for Valentine's day?

Me: Yeah, House of Cards and a long car ride.

Dad: Well, I do

Me: Ummmm, okayy?

Dad: Yeah, it's February 14. I thought everyone knew that.