Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!

Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!

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👤︎ u/tiger7971
📅︎ Sep 29 2020
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Why did the hotel manager move his raunchy painting out of his house and into his hotel?

It was inn-appropriate.

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👤︎ u/Danc777
📅︎ Jan 14 2019
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Justin Bieber was in a hotel in Arizona yesterday. The air conditioning was broken, so he asked the hotel manager if he could do something about the heat.

The hotel manager replied, "sorry, I'm not a big fan."

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👤︎ u/thkoog
📅︎ Aug 15 2017
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What did the pimp write on his resume?

Certified Hotel Manager.

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📅︎ Oct 14 2020
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An Italian man walks into a prestigious hotel.

After inspecting his room, he comes back to the hotel manager saying, "I would like six forks and a sheet" after noticing the absence of those items in his room.

He gets kicked out.

"Why did you kick him out?" says one of the hotel staff.

"He told me he wanted sex, fucks, and a shit!"

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👤︎ u/_w1n5t0n__
📅︎ Jul 07 2020
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My Hotel Experience

I was once staying at a hotel which had two lifts, one for the bottom half and one for the top. I was intrigued with the system and asked the manager about it, his response was a fairly terse one "no funny business here, take the lift like anyone else would" he said strictly.

During my stay I needed to get to the higher section of the building, leading me to use the top lift. However when I came to move it, it took quite the effort and persuasion to get it to shift. Once I'd fiddled around and pushed a few more buttons it slowly made it's way up.

It was at this point I realised the manager simply had a stiff upper lift.

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📅︎ Aug 21 2016
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Couldn't pass up the opportunity for a pun at work tonight.

I'm a manager at a hotel and I got stuck covering the desk for an employee tonight. A 50ish-year-old couple came in with their teenage son and said, "reservation for Knight..."

"Yeah, here we go...A room with 2 queen beds for one night..." I replied, "well...for three knights, I guess..." and I gestured toward them.

The teenager immediately rolled his eyes, the dad BUSTED out laughing and the mom chuckled and said, "normally, he makes those jokes!"

The husband then says, "Yeah I had one all ready to go!"

I was proud that I beat them to the punch. It was a good day.

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👤︎ u/dougan25
📅︎ Mar 26 2017
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my whole office groaned at me. it was glorious.

so the events manager was coordinating with the head chef at my job (i work at a hotel).

they were discussing the three types of fish they currently had in stock and people's receptions. the general consensus regarding the first was positive. they moved on to the second which also received rave reviews. they left out discussion of the third. from my chair about 20 yards away i proclaim;

"i guess the third is a whole other fish to fry!"

audible groan from everyone in the office. success.

my dad would be proud.

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👤︎ u/king09
📅︎ May 22 2015
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Dadjoke from memory

Allow me to regale you with a couple tales illustrating my late dad's sense of humor. Last names faked because I'm not that stupid.

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(1). At a routine PTA meeting about me in my Georgia school, everyone found themselves packed into a hot and stuffy room waiting for the boredom to end. Shoulder to shoulder fun, can you picture it?

My dad lets one rip. It's loud, smelly, and echoes. The room falls silent as the fart invites itself unfavorably to the nostrils of those in attendance.

He turns to my mom and with his best shocked face says, "... Patty!"

I like to think he slept on the couch that night.

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(2). During my old man's wait for us to arrive at the new home he had bought, he had to deal with ongoing construction and roughed it at a hotel for a few nights. He was a retired Master Chief Machinist's Mate, so cramped quarters reminded him of the sub's nuclear engine room. No biggie.

An interview comes up for a civilian nuclear power plant nearby, and before you know it my dad's sitting before these stuffy, serious, wrinkly old board members and managers, having his (mostly military) resume picked through.

"Well Mister Smith, we're impressed. Twenty two years is no small amount of time to dedicate to the service. But do you feel you're qualified to operate and audit a civilian fission power plant?"

My dad thinks on it for a second.

"Well no, sir, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

He got the job immediately.

(For those needing the reference)

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Thanks for caring to read. I miss him a lot and this subreddit always reminds me of his sense of dry, quick humor. Take care!

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👤︎ u/Morvick
📅︎ Nov 17 2013
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A chicken walks into a hotel...

A chicken walks into a hotel and walks to the front desk.

The manager asks him "Are you here for check-in or check-out?"

The chicken says "always a chicken"

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👤︎ u/zeyadjamal
📅︎ Jul 29 2016
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Belated Holiday Dadjoke

An international chess tournament was taking place at a hotel in New York. Grandmasters from all around the world came to compete. As things were getting underway, everyone gathered in the hotel's lobby to socialize and brag about their skills. All of a sudden, the hotel manager bursts out and orders everyone to leave. The players ask why, and he responds:

"I don't like chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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👤︎ u/zora894
📅︎ Dec 27 2013
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