Honda Z Puns

A man's farts once began sounding like the word "honda."

US Doctors were no help for the man.

Finally a Japanese Doctor took his case & sent for the man to come to Japan.

The man flew to Japan and after a short examination the Doctor said to him, "you have abscess tooth."

"An abscess tooth?" the man asked.

"Yes," replied the doctor "abscess make the fart go Honda."

A Honda Beat.

It was really sad to see my Van Gogh.

BONUS-

I head back to the Honda dealership to purchase a truck, but instead I Tacoma Toyota.

Honda, because the disciples were all ‘in one accord.’

Our neighbor pulled out of his driveway in a Honda. I said "Looks like he left on his own Accord." My wife then walked out of the room

- Dan Regan

@Social_Mime

He drove a Honda, but he didn't like it. Because he never spoke of his own Accord.

Just kidding he drove a Christ-ler

What do you call a Japanese car that gets in to an accident?
A Honda Accordion

Did you hear about the car accident in Sweden?
It was a real Saab story.

Honda Stivic

cuz my antique honda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.

He said he's honda way.

After winning a fight against Piston Honda:

'Well, they are just going to have to call him Ton Honda now!'

'Why dad?'

'Because I just knocked the piss outta him!!'

A Honda Sieveic

I was getting in my car (a Chevy) and my dad tells me to get in our Honda instead. Why? "It's our Civic duty."

She saw an ad for a Honda Pilot, but it was sold when she called.

Me: So the Pilots are flying off the lot?

Today I was at a Honda dealership finalizing a lease on my girlfriend's new car. The salesman was chatting us up and showed us a picture of his daughter. He says "This is my 2 year old daughter. Her name is Alexis". Without missing a beat I said "Alexis? Why didn't you name her a Honda?". Both the salesman and my girlfriend gave me the "oh no you didn't" look.

"Ya know, Jesus drove a Honda but never liked to talk about it" "What are you talking about??" "Yeah he said 'I do not speak of my own accord.' And then there was Rachel. She lit off her own camel! She was the first woman in the bible to smoke...."

So the other day my uncle was riding his '81 Honda, just out for a cruise. And the bike caught on fire. A guy came running up to him and threw him a fire extinguisher. He caught it cause he's a bad ass. Any way after my uncle put out the fire that was melting his bike and burning him. A crowd of about 13 people were gathered around, and he pipes up saying

"Wow, that's one hot bike."

Needless to say no one laughed. He was the only psycho laughing after being on fire minutes before.

My parents and a friend were over for dinner. My friend drives a Honda Element. Parents said goodbye and walked out to their car... Dad walks back in and says, "Hey bud. I think you're a little out of your element!" (He walked back in for that joke! Smh)

Yesterday I was watching T.V. with my family when a commercial for the new Honda Fit came on. If you've never seen it, the basic gist is, people ask the main man "Will (blank) fit in?" Two minotaurs come on screen and ask and here's what happened:

Mom: I really doubt a Minotaur would fit.

Dad: Maybe they're Mini-taurs.

Groans were had by all.

For the second one I was texting a friend and she said:

Her: I think I have a problem. I've ate ham almost nonstop since that party. Now I'm really sad it's almost gone. I might be addicted.

Me: I guess you'll have to quit cold ham.