I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
I'm pretty good at history but I recently read about a Nazi war criminal who I'd never heard of before.
His name didn't ring any Gö- bells.
Did you know that Olive branch is a symbol of peace. People were using olive branch during the history to declare truce by giving it to their enemies
If you are wondering how I know this, it's because olive random trivia
I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I've recently started writing an Ebook about the history of citrus fruits.
It's nowhere near finished, but the first chapter's on lime.
Today I read a pamphlet on the history of incandescent bulbs...
Who was the most jovial conqueror in human history?
I’m reading a book on the history of glue....
I can’t seem to put it down.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
What do cannibals serve at the beginning of dinner party?
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
The one and only acceptable way of advertising
My friend was trying to feed her baby but he was having none of it. I said "Try the Airplane."
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Ah sorry i didn't read the name of the subreddit right
Why can't Thanos watch the Argentinian history musical?
I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
So we all know that you find H2O inside a fire hydrant, but what do you find on the outside of a fire hydrant?
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What is the opposite of isolate?
I need someone to repair the stone wall in the front of my house, but I don’t have a lot of money.
Incidentally, Free Masons are not what they sound like.
All hail the holy antlers of the deer god
The CEO of IKEA was just selected as the Prime Minister of Sweden
He’s assembling his cabinet.
It just occurred to me that the opposite of Artificial Intelligence is …
I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
The Adventures of the Mathmagician (an educational and punny comic).
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Who was the funniest pope in history?
Pope Hilarius (AD 461 - AD 468)
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
I am reading a book on the history of lubricants.
What's the opposite of ladyfinger?
the very peak of my existence about 6 months ago today
If someone told me tomorrow is the start of a new month...
What is the hairiest side of a gorilla?
The cast of “Friends” got stuck at sea in a boat, but thankfully nothing happened.
Have I not yet told you my summary about the history of clocks?
What's the best time of day on a clock?
The other day my dog fell into a lake and was drowning. Then some German guy came out of nowhere and saved his life
After I thanked him, he said to me: "Don't vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine"
I asked him, "Are you a vet?"
He answered, "Am I vet? I'm soaking"
The most important part of a mail pun, is the delivery.
What was the name of Robin Hood's Dad?
I’ve just started my new book: ‘the history of glue’
My friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes. Now we call him Dr Awkward.
The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.
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