"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
Me: Hey, Dad, is that a man standing next to an igloo over there?
Dad: It's just an Aleutian.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Friend - Hey man could you call for some flowers for me from online?
Me - Yeah sure bro I will cauliflowers.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...
"Oh, it's the peanuts.
They're complimentary."
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 16 2020
Returning home from the barber, had a true old man moment today. My kid: βHey dad, did you just get a hair cut?β
βNo son, I got them ALL cut!β
The cycle is complete. I have become my father.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
Hey man, you want this pamphlet?
π︎ 141
π
︎ Jun 16 2019
A man on one side of a river shouts to a man standing on the other side, βHey, how do I get to the other side of the river?β
The other man responds, βYou are on the other side of the river.β
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Nov 03 2016
"Hey man can you give me that piece of paper?"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 22 2019
Man walks into a butcher store and sees a side of beef strapped to the ceiling. As he approaches the counter he asked asks βHey, whatβs with the beef?β
Butcher tells him if he can jump up and touch it, he gets half off his purchase. If not, he pays double. The man looks up at the beef and says,
βNah. The steaks are too high.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
Hey man
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 18 2018
Matt: Hey man, I'm so tired of people walking all over me.
Art: At least they don't leave you hanging.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 08 2019
Hey son, you see that silo over there? A man died there once.
He was trying to find a corner to pee in.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
Hey man,
A book fell on my head, i only have my shelf to blame
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheeling sticking out of his crotch. The bartender says, βHey man, whatβs with the wheel?β
The pirate says back, βArrr! itβs drivinβ me nuts!β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 26 2018
Hey man! Did you get any snow out by where you live?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 24 2019
Hey! See the cemetery we are passing now? Well, the man who invented the crossword is actually buried there...
... his grave is 3 down and 7 across!
π︎ 150
π
︎ Sep 02 2015
Two teddy bears are walking down the road. One says, βHey, man. You hungry?β
The other says βNah man Iβm stuffed.β
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 10 2018
A man walks into a bar with his pet giraffe, the barman asks what he can get them and the man orders a pint for himself and 20 shots for the giraffe, the giraffe necks all 20 shots and falls on the ground, the man goes to leave the bar and the barman says "HEY, you can't leave that lyin there!"
The man says "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe"
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 23 2018
Hey man you here about that joke on Reddit?
Yeah, I think I already reddit.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 25 2018
Hey man, are you all right?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 22 2017
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