What if Iron man and Silver surfer teamed up?
They would be alloys.
What is green and fuzzy and if it falls out a tree it'll kill you?
A pool table.
If Chewie is short for Chewbacca, and Ben is short for Obi Wan, what is Luke short for?
A Storm Trooper!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?
K9P
If a one L Lama is a holy man and a 2 L Llama is a beast of burden, what is a three L Llama?
A big fire in Boston.
So, if Ani is short for Anikan, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan, and Fives is short for CT-27-5555, and Artoo is short for R2D2, and Chewy is short for Chewbacca, what is Luke short for?
A Stormtrooper.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
What would I have if I wrapped ice cream in a tortilla?
a Brrrrr-ito
Baby Roach: “Papa, what happens if the humans spray us with Raid?”
Papa Roach: “Suffocation. No breathing.”
So what if I can't spell apocalipse"?
It's not like it's the end of the world.
What do you do if an elephant doesn’t fit in your car?
You pop the trunk
What would happen if the USA switched from Pounds to Kilograms?
There would be mass confusion
What kind if vegetable makes you sad?
Despairagus
What would George Strait sing if he'd be an office worker?
All my Excels live in XLSX!
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European
If 1+1=2 and 2+0=2, what does Train+Whistle equal?
Two too!
What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she was still alive today?
Probably scratching the inside of her coffin.....
I asked my wife, if there's anything she regrets in our marriage. Do you know what she said?
I do.
My 9 year old told me this: What happens if you party to hard on May the Fourth?
>! Revenge of the Fifth!<
What do houses eat if their breath stinks?
Apartments
What happens if you put your hand in the blender?
You get a handshake
If Mississippi wore a New Jersey, what did Delaware?
Idaho
If a woman sleeps with 10 men that means she's a slut. But what does that make a man if he does it?
Gay. Very gay
What should you do if your omelette starts floating?
Call an egg-sorcist
A local themed Grandad joke from the northeast of England: If you walk to Walker and bike to Byker, what do you do at Wallsend?
You fall off
From r/askreddit's thread "If your sex life was a country, what country would it be and why?"
What do you think would be different if men peed from their balls instead of their penis?
For starters, peanuts wouldn't have been named peanuts
What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?
Collie-flour!
If the stork is the burd that brings babies, what is the bird that prevents babies ?
The Swallow.
What will you call it if an immigrant starts arguing with a priest?
Alien Vs Predator
What should you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
What do you get if you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros
Elephino
What should you do if there's a sink knocking on your door?
Let that sink in.
So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means?
It's not the end of the world.
I never thought about what to do with a telescope if I got one.
I guess I should look into it.
What do you get if you cross elephant dung and a pygmy?
A little shit about 3 ft. tall
What do you get if you put a chicken strip in a small fridge?
A mini bar tender!
What would the Property Brothers show be called if they were alien skeletons?
E.T. Bone Home.
what would James Bond have if he were a shopkeeper
A license to Till
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims, of course!
What happens to you if you pee on the floor?
Urine trouble.
If April showers bring May flowers, What do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims..
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims....
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims
If you’re Russian when you go in the washroom and you’re Finnish when you come out, what are you when you’re in there?
European!
