People complain about the heat waves but they don't bother me.

I'm a 90's kid.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Scooterpro1020
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 22 2022
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What do you get when you cross an earthquake with a heat wave?

Shake 'n' Bake.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2023
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Did you know that there is a grape surplus in France due to the heat wave?

Just raisin awareness on currant issues

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SteveM06
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2022
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What would you call south Texas in a heat wave?

Corpus Crispy.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2022
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With this recent heat wave, I can't help but feel bad for the pigs.

They've got to be bacon

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bluesox4
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit theyโ€™re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. โ€œIโ€™d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,โ€ it says. โ€œSorry, but I canโ€™t serve you,โ€ the bartender replies. โ€œYouโ€™re out of your head.โ€

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. โ€œWe donโ€™t serve your kind here,โ€ the bartender says. โ€œWhy not?โ€ one yogurt asks. โ€œWeโ€™re cultured.โ€

A friend of mine didnโ€™t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heโ€™s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and thereโ€™s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, โ€œWhat are you staring at? Havenโ€™t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?โ€ The guy says, โ€œItโ€™s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.โ€

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, โ€œWhatโ€™s with the paper towel?โ€ The pirate says, โ€œArrr! Iโ€™ve got a Bounty on me head!โ€

A turtle is crossing the road when heโ€™s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, โ€œI donโ€™t know. It all happened so fast.โ€

Armed robbersโ€”some say theyโ€™re a drain on society, but youโ€™ve got to give it to them.

Barbersโ€ฆyou have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Donโ€™t forget the pickle. Itโ€™s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereโ€™s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisโ€ฆ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bugasum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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I was arguing with my friend

He insisted that Harry Potter was a true story, while I was certain it was made up. As the argument drew on, things got more and more heated. I was waving my copy in his face when he grabbed it and threw is across the table where it slid with ease

With a sigh, I said โ€œWell, I guess that settles it. The book is non-frictionโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cursed_Purity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 13 2022
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How does the sun say hi to the moon?

With a heat wave!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mikebillydelux
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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What do you get when you throw chilli into the sea?

Heat waves.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/minesh245
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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What do you get when you cross an earthquake with a heat wave?

Shake-n-bake.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 05 2021
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