I found out it was the best way to watch it
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
All the Shingle Ladies.
but I quit because it was boring.....
Iβm on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
and upon telling our daughter this morning she asked is that a prequel to βThe Holeβ. It gets better β¦ my wife then says βthat was a dad jokeβ and she says βno it was a good jokeβ
They said it was grounds for termination.
Sadly, some people never remember Alamo
Looks like it'll be a very talented pool this year.
Nobody hits a girl.....not on my watch.
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
I'm glad I was the one facing the TV.
Itβs soda-pressing. Happy Fatherβs Day!
It is Annoy Inc.
Because heβs low-key.
There was a wide-scale cover up.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CQyL-WInGBF/?utm_medium=copy_link
Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.
I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.
When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."
From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"
Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!
During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacremento"
When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"
>Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
>
>Dr. Alan Grant: I don't know
>
>Tim: A Do-you-think-he-saurus.
>
>Dr. Alan Grant: Ha ha. Good one.
>
>Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?
>
>Dr. Alan Grant: You got me.
>
>Tim: A Do-you-think-he-saurus Rex.
This cracked me up! π€£
Anyone here also excited for JW: Dominion?
It's a timeless classic.
it was poultry in motion...
Because itβs plot is full of holes
He's lawn gone
It was a complete waist of time
I think it's BP.
Sadly, he lost his case.
I thought, "that's boring"
Itβs like a Sting operation.
Strange...usually Australians boo meringue
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
Son: Do I need to turn out off and on again?
Wife: Just stop hitting the buttons, it's frozen.
Me: No, this is The Secret Life of Pets.
The sweet music of exasperated sighs.
A schwing and Amish!
Now he calls him sin Ο
It's called Channing Tatum Channeling Datum.
My children are still here
They are afraid of stake holder meetings.
A heroine addict
Netflakes
It was the best dam show I ever saw
Iβm on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
A waist of time.
I think it's BP.
