Initially I didn’t believe that my chiropractor was any good.
But now I stand corrected.
My GF dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest under the suspicion that I was good in bed c
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
What made the mushroom forager such a good person?
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
Whoever thought it was a good idea to make a lower case L and and upper case i look the same must have been Ill.
What do you call someone who is incredibly good at estimating the weight of objects?
The black eyed peas can sing us a really good song...
but the chickpeas can only hummus one.
Imagine if Aladdin took place in Italy and when he finally finds the lamp and gives it a good rub, out pops...
I heard the movie was good though
8 months in and I finally got a good dad joke over the weekend.
In the subdivision where I live there are 2 open fields with cows in each one, one of those fields is being turned into a sports complex. My friends were wondering where the cows would go and one of them suggested that they would just have all the cows in one field, to which I replied “well then it would just be overCOWded”
Thanks guys
As I got out on the 11th floor, the lift operator said, "Have a good day son."
"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.
As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"
YouTube has some good finds
Every morning, I like to stand in front of a mirror and think about all the good things I've done.
It's just a moment of reflection.
I watched one of those really good black and white movies the other day
Interracial porn is great
Got my gf good with this one just now... I showed her a picture of the Mexico City skyline and she said, "that's intense!"
I said no, I'm pretty sure they're all buildings.
A good pickle joke is all about the dillivery
A good sense of humour is jenetic
As we drove past Ikea, my dad began one of his rants “Why do people want Swedish furniture? The fancy closet in my bedroom was built by a good ol’ fashioned local carpenter, none of this foreign import rubbish!” He was surprisingly vocal...
I finally quit drinking for good
His Outlook is not too good
I am so good at sleeping
I can do it with my eyes closed.
Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...
But Bill kept the Windows
I’ve been good. No ice cream on Thursday. None on Friday. None on Saturday.
Why is riding a bike, jumping off, then riding a bike again good for the environment?
My parents found this while camping... someone has a good sense of humour
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
My Bluetooth speaker wasn’t working so I threw it into the lake.
True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?
I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".
To the person who stole my MS Office License.
I will find you. You have my Word.
I told my wife I saw a deer on the way to work.
She said how do you know he was headed to work?
Did you hear about the king sperm that was good at maths?
His name was Sir Cumference
Don't know if this was posted here before
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
Being a parent is hard - my son won't ever let me have a good night's sleep; so when my wife came home the other day and asked why I was so red...
I told her I was just completely sunburnt
From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"
True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."
I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"
He responds, "it's dead grass."
I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"
.
.
.
He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.
I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
He gave the toy horses a home in his ___
My wife said, “I don’t really understand the science behind human cloning.”
I said, “That makes two of us.”
You know, one good thing came out of quarantine
All my jokes became inside jokes
What do you call the act of rummaging around in a purse by a warthog that is good at talking to women?
Music puns sometimes hit the high notes
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
A good way to strike up a conversation with someone you find attractive
What do you call someone who is incredibly good at estimating the weight of objects?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
