What is green and fuzzy and if it falls out a tree it'll kill you?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 769
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
You come to the end of the road. North of you is the red house, west is the green house, east is the blue house. Where is the white house?

Washington DC.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cowslapperz
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green and invisible?

this cabbage.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I ordered some ripe, juicy, golden yellow mangoes from a grocery store. But all the mangoes they sent me were green.

They gave me a raw deal.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drawsouza
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Every time we go to the putting green, my friend has to bring along a bag of Pringles to munch on...

He always wants to practice his chipping.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s green and not very heavy?

Light green

πŸ‘︎ 167
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What is green and slide through the snow?

Parsleigh

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/totalynotyoghurt
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What is green and has wheels?

Grass I lied about the wheels.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BKDarkMaze
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green light say to the red light?

Don't look I'm changing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
my grandfather said this today on the dinner table and i was the only one that found it hilarious for no reason at all

G : what type of apples grow on trees ?

my dumbass : idk red and green ?

G : all of them do

wheezes

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/malikbefine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 233
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

because It didn't habenero . .

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drewzee0109
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s large, green, and can’t fly?

A field.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rf152
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green and flew over Germany?

Snot-zis

(One of my father's favorite's growing up)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryMove
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Fun fact: that's a sub green crayon
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qwk_drw_mcgrw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the green pepper do archery?

BECAUSE IT DIDNT HABANERO LMAOOO

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/conifer0us
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you open a green door

With a chroma key

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever wonder what happened to the Jolly Green Giant?

He's kind of a has-bean.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s red and smells like green paint?

Red paint.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rf152
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
(My Grandma called me just to tell me this one): Why did the farmer bury a lightbulb?

He wanted to grow a power plant

πŸ‘︎ 249
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frozeneskimo02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
If a gardener has green fingers what does a hacker have?

Cryptoes

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Meerkat6074
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem

I call it my trail mix

πŸ‘︎ 206
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hungytoaster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What is green and lurks through the peephole?

A spynach

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a spicy green dish made on Sesame Street in India?

Curry the frog.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I started reading this great book about the relationship between military battles and green vegetables.

It’s called War and Peas.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because I made too many Green Day references

Do you have the time to listen to me whine

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
The Green Landon.
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was sitting at a red light with my family, when all of a sudden I said "Look, son! A super hero!"

It was the Green Arrow.

πŸ‘︎ 123
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H

Half a watermelon

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Not many fans are allowed in the stadium for Green Bay’s game today. It will be like

Silence of the Lambeau

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe grandpa, or they will have to put you in the box! (Raisin joke on top)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoyUnMalaleche
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe man! Damnit, breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LorimIronheart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What is big, green and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A snooker table

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RACOON_IN_MY_ASS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATH!!

Edit: breathe..dammit

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Whats green and fuzzy and would kill you if it jumped on you from a tree?

A snooker table

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATHE! JUST BREATHE!

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoyUnMalaleche
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

"Breathe damn it, breathe!"

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree on you, it will kill you?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 266
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape

Breathe idiot, breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green and smells like red paint?

Green paint

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kascuzzle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATHE, YOU IDIOT!! BREATHE!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theroutesetters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mitalily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.