Goliath Awaits Puns

It would be amazing to see a driveable Goliath Tank be an essential part of a strike. Or at least as many as the game will allow around at once.

It would at least be a unique game mechanic to a strike to have a convoy of hovering tanks...

Or maybe it's really the 1981 movie I saw and my memory is failing me? I swear the one I saw was more "modern" looking than the 1981 movie I am watching right now ghat can be found on YouTube.

It's basically a movie of a ship being sunk in the 40s and people inside somehow found a way to live in it until modern times when a diver was shocked to find a living face staring at him through a window.

He is 8 feet tall, 340 pounds but buff and lean not fat, tan, red eyes and bald. He has the stereotypical tattoos of goliath and typically carries a Masterwork Longsword and shield

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 1,332,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:

What is the Cryopod to Hell?

Join the Cryoverse Discord server!

Here's a list of all Cryopod's chapters, along with an ePub/Mobi/PDF version!

Want to stay up to date on TCTH? Subscribe to Cryopodbot!

...................................

(Previous Part)

(Part 001)

...

With Mephisto's arrival, demonkind's inevitable defeat suddenly reverses, sparking a glimmer of hope in the eyes of every Emperor present. Crow, having lost one of her arms, Yumagi, having long since stopped treating the battle as a game, and Kristoff, having reluctantly accepted his imminent death, all stare in shock at the newcomers.

Mephisto's gigantic Brute roars at the Cherubiim before charging toward it with stiff, jerky motions. As an amalgamation of thousands of lesser human, demon, and monster bodies and souls, the mashed-together undead goliath lacks any sort of concentrated brain matter, but it makes up for the deficit with a body sturdy enough to even withstand the Cherubiim's holy magic.

Michael's head gazes at the incoming attacker with a hint of scorn. "How pathetic. One last hurrah for the bloodskins. I will end this."

All six of the Cherubiim's arms lift into the air and summon building-sized greatswords in their palms. The Cherubiim and its primordial monsters charge into the incoming Brute and engage it in yet another planet-shattering battle, one that sends frightening shockwaves in all directions, constantly battering the Hidden Emperors as they try to withstand the storm.

Not content to merely sit back and watch, Fae joins the fray, flying into the sky to hurl explosive mana-bombs at any primordial summon that gets in her way. At the same time, Mephisto's revived Emperor minions follow along to his tune, running along the ground or flying

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

They were cooked in Greece.

Edit: Just to be clear, the academy is mainly high school age (except for elves and races like that)

Edit 2: the list hit 100 but I’ll add more anyway, the ideas are too good

1. A Minotaur who was bullied by his tribe for studying magic instead of martial combat.

2. A water genasi who left their peasant town to learn magic, and then return to give them a better life.

3. A lost traveling bard who somehow made it onto the grounds of the academy, and is posing as a student

4. A pretentious noble with a superiority complex, who’s magic skills are lackluster, but he’s really good at hiding it.

5. An elf who is a pacifist, and only uses illusion Magic to get his way.

6. A tiefling sworn to uphold an oath to a dragon's ghost, it just so happens that oath will lead him to creating a dracolich.

7. A cursed (fallen) assimar desperately trying to find a cure through study.

8. A talking dog who was gifted sentience and a humanoid lifespan. He's in school to learn how to give this gift to others of his kind since his poor master died.

9. This strange half-elf constantly rambling about "the equation" and "parallel planes."

10. A really, really buff guy who seems to just be immune to magic. He's currently there as a participant in a tenured professor's research division.

11. A young wizard from a prestigious family who registered under an obviously false name, who is hiding from their family after accidentally spilling coffee on their book of true names their family uses for summoning demons/devils/elementals.

12. A wild magic sorcerer that insists that they aren’t actually ever casting any magic, and that all the spells that they appear to be casting are just happening coincidentally.

13. A cleric with hemophobia that spams healing spells at everyone nearby at the sight of even a tiny bit of blood.

14. A shady alchemist in a trench coat that sells highly questionable potions.

15. A bard that routinely disguises them self as a student and sneaks in to preform non-magical magic tricks (like card tricks, pulling a rabbit out of a hat, etc.)

16. A charming half-elf warlock disguising his eldritch gifts as sorcerous talent. Their 'familiar' is a perfectly normal rabbit.

17. A shadow-sorcerer goth fairy.

18. Someone who uses spells to change their appearance regularly so no one knows what race or gender they actually are.

19. Young human male student from a well off family that is average in every way, super polite, knowledgeable, and is an ABSOLUTE DO

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Introduction

Happy break week, a time that allows me to clear some of my drafts since I'm not obsessing over new material.

In some ways, this post is a follow-up to this one: The Legend of Usopp, where I speculate that Usopp will be instrumental in pacifying Big Mom due to their opposing character arcs involving the Giants. Ultimately, I came up short in determining just how that would happen, and this is my answer to the “how.” The previous post is not required reading for this one.

This post will look to determine Big Mom’s “role” in the cast of our ongoing Kabuki inspired story in Wano as well as explore if/how that role can predict some future developments, including the dissolution of the Yonko alliance and a transition to Elbaf. So, without further ado...

It's no secret that our current plot line is heavily inspired by some Oni-centric stories in Japanese folklore, namely:

Momotaro - This is the most heavily inspired story and the one you’re most likely already familiar with, sorry if this bit feels a little stale just gotta establish a pattern.

The story of Momotaro (“Peach Boy”) - The boy born from a peach who goes to the island of Onigashima to defeat the Oni (demon/ogre) aided by a pheasant, dog, and monkey who he feeds kibi dango to in order to gain their allyship. Within One Piece this titular role is divided between both Momo and Tama. There’s a few different renditions of this folktale, but since it’s not the focus of this post, I won’t scrutinize too deeply. Just bringing attention to the few Oni legends our arc is pulling inspiration from.

Momo’s shared qualities:

• The name obviously, which means Peaches. Momotaro was born from a peach, we saw Oda have some fun with this in Dressrosa when Giolla turned Momo’s head into a peach, literally making him into a “Peach Boy”. He also wears a kimono that has peaches on it.

• The journey to Onigashima to defeat the Oni - a role played by Kaido. Many even say that Luffy, Marco and Yamato represent the Monkey, Pheasant and Dog that are supposed to help Momotaro defeat the Oni (although my own thoughts actually differ slightly).

• The “divineness” of his being. In the story of Momotaro he was bestowed by the Gods. Momo in One Piece has the [strongest demonstrated use of

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

I intend to start my D&D campaign locked inside an old hotel that says it heals stress and clears you of trauma when staying there. But until you are healed you cannot leave the premise.So I need 100 "people" that they could encounter.

1. Jan, the eternal actor. He made a deal to with the hotel, he can stay there forever as long as he pretends to be a normal guest and socialize with new guests. But 200 years later he is getting tired of his job and is trying to figure out a way to get out. u/Mudbucketguy
2. Lantern, A fire genasi that lost some friends in an attack and is selling old trinkets to other inhabitants as a symbolic way to get rid of their past. u/Mudbucketguy
3. Carling, A Halfling that technically should have left the hotel, but is hiding around the hotel. You can see him hiding somewhere odd. u/Mudbucketguy
4. The Noise. A passing voice whispering three words, three steps on the stairs then nothing, three notes of a song you heard in your childhood? That was probably an entity known as The Noise. u/Mudbucketguy
5. Shilera, A half-elf woman in her 100s. She tries to get over the death of her human husband. Nothing really special about her, she is willing to answer questions as far as she knows. She knows a few cantrips and 1st level cleric spells. She has a necklace around her neck of some good aligned god. u/Mudbucketguy
6. Bill Jenkins. He's just a regular human conducting some business nearby. He's been here for a few days and has been a lovely guest. By u/booper
7. Grex, orc cleric of Gruumsh. He's kind of a dick. By u/booper
8. Old Man Rivers, A human level 20 wizard with dementia. u/AineOmniOS
9. Masque: A powerful transmutation wizard, they enjoy shifting their forms to look like different people. Nobody there is actually sure what they really look like, but they always wear a black Zoro mask. u/James1gal
10. Stephan: A vampire that is going through a crisis after waking up from being sealed for 500 years, and now he is trying to figure out how to fit in. Will randomly ask people about current events and popular trends. u/James1gal
11. Tiir’isia: A slightly crazy Great Old One patron Warlock. Her name is actually Teresa, but she started spelling it weird a few months after she got her patron. She is relatively friendly, but she tries to convince anyone who talks to her to worship her Patron that she claims is called Z'exh'vhi the Flower with 10000 eyes. She has a book written in Deep Speech that if translated and read appears to

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

With Mephisto's arrival, demonkind's inevitable defeat suddenly reverses, sparking a glimmer of hope in the eyes of every Emperor present. Crow, having lost one of her arms, Yumagi, having long since stopped treating the battle as a game, and Kristoff, having reluctantly accepted his imminent death, all stare in shock at the newcomers.

Mephisto's gigantic Brute roars at the Cherubiim before charging toward it with stiff, jerky motions. As an amalgamation of thousands of lesser human, demon, and monster bodies and souls, the mashed-together undead goliath lacks any sort of concentrated brain matter, but it makes up for the deficit with a body sturdy enough to even withstand the Cherubiim's holy magic.

Michael's head gazes at the incoming attacker with a hint of scorn. "How pathetic. One last hurrah for the bloodskins. I will end this."

All six of the Cherubiim's arms lift into the air and summon building-sized greatswords in their palms. The Cherubiim and its primordial monsters charge into the incoming Brute and engage it in yet another planet-shattering battle, one that sends frightening shockwaves in all directions, constantly battering the Hidden Emperors as they try to withstand the storm.

Not content to merely sit back and watch, Fae joins the fray, flying into the sky to hurl explosive mana-bombs at any primordial summon that gets in her way. At the same time, Mephisto's revived Emperor minions follow along to his tune, running along the ground or flying into the air to assist the Brute as it dull-headedly hammers against the Archangel's defenses.

"Kekeke!" Mephisto cackles. "Behold! The rissse of the next great Necromancer! The future Firssst Emperor of the Ssseven Hellsss!"

Mephisto does not join in on the battle. He hangs back, which only makes sense, given his poor fighting abilities. Unlike the ancient Emperor, Valac, who possessed a soul-reaping scythe and a surprisingly powerful body, Mephisto's talents lay in the finer aspects of the necromantic arts.

Michael's six swords spin like buzzsaws, whirling around the Cherubiim's body at five times the speed of sound. Unlike a physical body, with its limited joint movements, the Cherubiim's 'core' and its summoned limbs act as almost disconnected weapons, able to move freely around the Cherubiim's 'main body' as they please. Without the tendons, bones, and other intricacies of a fleshly body to slow him down, Michael's blindingly fast attacking and reaction speed completely dwarfs that of

Heard they've been doing some shady business.