What did the skydiver say when he realised he jumped without an important piece of kit?
I have developed a severe phobia for elevators
So now I'm taking steps to avoid them
What did Snow White say after dropping off a roll of film to get developed?
Someday my prints will come
Why do developers never put horse-drawn carriages in their games?
What did they name the disorder when they discovered double amputees developed a rare form of narcolepsy?
My wife said she wanted divorce because i play too many video games
What a stupid thing to fallout 4
I just bought myself a new first aid kit...
Thought I'd treat myself.
Breaking news: Scientists have developed a soundtrack that boosts mental well being and improves immune response to Coronavirus
If approved by the FDA, it will greatly enhance heard immunity.
Why do Python developers wear glasses?
My son has developed an immense phobia of elevators.
We’re taking steps to alleviate his fears.
What do you call a DNA kit for Alabama residents
You know Swiss Cheese was developed by monks in the Swiss Alps
Doesn't that make it....
Holey cheese?
I’ve developed a new AI
I’ve developed a new AI and taught it to identify any porno ever made just from the cum shot
I’ve called it facial recognition
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: “I have to get Dusty ice cream.”
GF: “Dusty ice cream doesn’t sound very good”
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
Did you know? I certainly didn’t but, that game ‘Mortal Combat’ was originally based upon a very old Scandinavian church song.
>!It was a Finnish Hymn!<
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.
Well, toucan play at that game.
Have you noticed that cars are less controllable in video games than in real life?
It's because they're on a hard drive.
What's the first game a baby plays?
What was Hitler's favorite game to play?
Mein-krafft
Edit: corrected the spelling of mein from mien
My dad used to hit me with cameras
A man is at a sellout football game with an empty seat beside him
The guy behind him notices that the seat is empty and asks why.
"My wife recently passed away. We have season passes and she never missed a game" the man said.
"I'm very sorry to hear that" replied the man behind him."Couldn't you have invited one of your friends to come with you to fill the seat?"
"Oh no!" The man replied. "They're all at the funeral".
If there was a game about erectile dysfunction it would be designed by
I tried to carry my oversized board game onto the plane, but I wasn’t allowed.
They said the Risk was too big.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
I'm going to call it leave me the fuh cologne
Been trying to organize a game of hide-n-seek for my local community
But good players are hard to find.
I asked a Frenchman whether he owned any gaming consoles
At the weekend, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park. But it's becoming increasingly harder..
..to find exactly 32 of them.
Mike Tyson plays a lot of video games,
I upgraded my gaming computer into an airplane...
...performance improved for a while, but it soon crashed.
What do you call a game of tag with Spanish chickens?
I really struggled with this “The A-Team” game once. But it all got easier after I discovered the cheat code.
Up up down down left right left right B. A. Baracus.
The creator of Mortal Kombat got the idea for the game while visiting a church in Finland...
... listening to a Finnish Hymn
I asked my french friend if she likes to play video games
What is an Alabamians favourite video game?
I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography
I'm developing a game which simulates your parents using the internet.
It's called the Elder Scrolls Online.
I hate playing casino game's
A pigeon landed on the pitch in the Portugal Vs Germany game
It was a good thing they didn't pass to the pigeon.
Otherwise it would have been fowl play.
Why did the baseball player leave to go to his moms house in the middle of the game?
My dad and I talked about the football game in the pub.
'They'd do better playing in a field,' he suggested.
For those board gaming dads out there
Me: After I finish this up, how do you feel about a Noah situation but only pigs and it's really scary?
Wife: What?
Me: Ark-Ham Horror?
Wife: Get out of here
My wife said she wants a divorce because I play too many video games.
What a stupid thing to Fallout 4. It Sims totally unreasonable.
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