These are note your average puns. Samsung makes a 4 minute ad about their new Galaxy Note 4. And they did note make fun of a single other phone androidauthority.com/note…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kintamanate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security in a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call security guards who guard Samsung stores.

Guardians of the Galaxies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beingjac
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. ..

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What tech do aliens use?

Samsung Galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustTheNewFella
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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I’m not sure why people continue to argue and complain about Star Wars

It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmentalhamster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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The mandalorian was handing out valentine's. They read.......

Baby, Yoda best, valentine from a galaxy far far away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buggnugg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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5 Terrible Puns
  1. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

  2. If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… Guardian of the Galaxy

  3. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

  4. I Googled β€œHow to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

  5. I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Did you hear about the fight in the biscuit tin?

The bandit hit the penguin over the head with a club, tied him to a wagon wheel with a blue ribbon, and made his breakaway in a taxi, escaping along the rocky road to mars, the milky way, and the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadgerEatCheese
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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What do you call a Samsung store’s security guard

A guardian of the Galaxy Credit:u/eatsleeprepeat101_

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hidininthetrees
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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I hear that Samsung are employing security guards at all their stores now...

...does this make them...Guardians of the Galaxy?

:D

Hotter half shared that with me the other day. We're trying to build up our dad joke repertoire with a recently arrived bub.

EDIT: for removal of apostrophe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scalesthefish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2015
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Chewbacca’s in a better place now.

In a galaxy far far away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TITANofATHENS
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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To some iPhone owners, their phone is the world to them.

To some Android owners it’s their galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallmeKenny-sama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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Two NASA engineers were arguing...

Two NASA engineers were arguing over the feasibility of building a high tech satellite that could see everything, anywhere in the galaxy, by orbiting a spherical lens around a mirrored device at various ranges of orbit. An application controlling the length of the O-Range (range of orbit) would pull the lens in, then release it, and centripetal force would pull it out again. The length of the "app pull", the distance the application would pull the lens back from orbit, had to be precise to ensure proper visibility at all times.

One of the scientists argued that the math to ensure total visibility at all times did not work. Eventually, they brought in another scientist to settle the argument. After several moments reviewing the math the two scientists had done on the board, their colleague spoke out.

"It's so obvious why you two cannot come to a conclusion," he said, "you're comparing app pulls to o-ranges!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guard at the Samsung store?

A guardian of the galaxy!

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security outside of a SAMSUNG store?

Guardian of the galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zayer96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Security at Samsung?

The Guardians of the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the guards of a Samsung store?

The Guardians of the Galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamingfreak207
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Samsung’s security team?

Guardians of the Galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sportznut1000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I Did A Dad Joke on My Dad

My Dad: "I'm looking to find a new job doing security."

Me: "You should apply to be a security guard at the Samsung store."

My Dad: "Why?"

Me: "So you can be a Guardian of the Galaxies."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blumonk3y
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what they call the security guards at Samsung?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/detrickster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a security guard at a samsung store

Guardian of the Galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-_Anirban_-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security at a Samsung factory.

Guardians of the galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J4KE95
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards at the Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samuelcbadams
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

>!Guardians of the Galaxy.!<

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security at Samsung?

The Guardians of the Galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr-cereal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lbrooks13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a security guard at Samsung?

Guardian of the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big3151
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
If there are security guards outside of a Samsung store does that mean they are

Guardians of the Galaxy?

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung store!

Guardians of the Galaxy!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If you work security at Samsung

Does that make you a guardian of the Galaxy. My kid was in stitches when he told us this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OZBigfoott
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Years ago, I had a Star Wars game on my Samsung, but lost it while on vacation..

a long time ago
On a Galaxy far, far away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guard outside the Samsung Store?

The Guardian of the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baldomccoy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards at the Samsung store

Guardians of the galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noah84843
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you call guards of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the galaxy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Saying
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the guards working at Samsung?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4ost
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a security guard called at the Samsung store?

Guardian of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubeva_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards outside samsung store?

Guardians of Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_d_g_af
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guard working at the Samsung store?

Guardian of the galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mxlberrybush
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the guards outside the Samsung Store?

The Gaurdians of the Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If I’m a security guard at Samsung

Does that make me one of the Guardians of the Galaxy?

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call security guards at a Samsung store?

Guardians Of The Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InsecureTurdPilot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report

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