The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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If Thursday is a sad day but Friday is even sadder, does that make it a sadder day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastLeave8770
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Fridays?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Donfatty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.

That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What did the guinea pig say to the hamster before leaving work on Friday?

Have a good wheek-end!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chonkin_GuineaPig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Every Friday for dinner, I make everything deep fried

I call it Deep Fry-day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baby-Penewine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I know it's Friday the 13th and COVID is raging, but...

Be positive!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quietconsigliere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Why did the naked guy go Black Friday shopping?

Because the underpants were a 100% off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbletits
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Friday was roasting saturday and sunday brutally yet they never occurred a word. Wednesday, being a harmonist, asked them why they stayed mum for which they replied, "because we are weakened in front of you guys".

I was dazed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaylicious17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Monday: Greg. Tuesday: Ian: Wednesday: Greg. Thursday: Ian. Friday: Greg

A GregOrIan calendar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Black Friday shopping
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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My coworker told us this dadjoke on Friday

If I catch the Corona Virus, I hope I get Lyme Disease too.

Corona just isn't the same without a lime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwnrzero
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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What kind of birds only appear on Friday the 13th?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoicelessSock
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?

Prices get slashed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roy-Donk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Where does Friday come before Thursday?

In a dictionary

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πŸ‘€︎ u/irishayes86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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It’s the end of work on Friday, it’s been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.

They’re Aachen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dymmesdale
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?

A sweet deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Have you noticed that after every Friday the 13th

Comes a Saturday the 14th?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoubleL94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Happy Friday
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BTWGaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said how flexible are you? I said I can’t do Fridays.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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Every Friday I get a feeling my wife is up to no good.

Something smells fishy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Who had the hottest Black Friday deals this year?

Kohl’s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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The actor that played Luke on the Disney channel original TV show β€œJessie” died the day after Friday

So Saturday’s really are for the Boyce

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohmy_cod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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Friday, is that mine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abizer2
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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I think everyone should be a little more understanding this Friday.

After all, all conversations will end on a 10-4.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twinsaber123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Bf is on leave Friday from the navy, need navy sex pun!

TL;DR need sex pun related to the navy!

Hey everyone! My boyfriend is coming back on leave from the navy this Friday. I am making a sign to welcome him home. I need a sex pun related to the navy. One's like "put your ship in my harbor". Thanks in advance!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeHappy402
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
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Friday the 13th may be scary.

But may, May Fri 10 you more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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"So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss.

"That is correct," I replied.

He said, "Would you be able to work outside those hours?"

I said, "No, I might catch a cold."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Hope everyone had a GOOD Friday!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perpetualconflict
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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A string is walking home one Friday evening after a long week at work

And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new sign on the door that reads " No Strings Allowed".

The string becomes infuriated. "How dare they" he thinks to himself. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan.

He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to be discreet. While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer.

The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is. He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two pints of beer before going home to retire for the weekend.

It is just at that point when the bartender is serving him his second pint that he pauses and looks at the string and says "Hold on one minute! Aren't you a string?"

To which the string replied, "Sorry, I'm a frayed knot".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannaBrained
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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A cowboy rides into town on Friday. Stays three days and leaves on Friday. How did he do it?

The horse’s name is Friday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blake4Bama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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The boat shop was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year.

It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravenclaw_VIII
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Make sure to visit the tire store on black Friday.

They always have a blowout!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasualMobileUser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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Today is a Good Friday

But Jesus will comeback Sunday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IUserThisName
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)

Its the Gregorian calendar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Little_Mog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Oh.... those were the days....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Auralore
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
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I thought Friday is a sad day.

Turns out tomorrow is sadder day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Ah. Those were the days....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
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Good Friday is a sad day

And tomorrow is a Saturday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warmLuke0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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I hope everyone here has a good Friday!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleeding-paryl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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