For Tomorrow Puns

Calculator.

People will be lined up for blocks.

I've won a Nobellly Prize.

They've been forced into sleighvery.

He was injured during a navel training exercise.

Her: Huh?

Me: Tomorrow is Black Fry day.

It's my semi-final.

I'm so gonna be Fehling the test

I’m planning to get down with the kids.

The internet is going to have more traffic than usual

Also known as indie pendants day

I guess you could say I have a loco motive

I told her, "just for the halibut (hell of it)"

It’s a fourth to be reckoned with.

I was helping my daughter pack her car today, getting ready to leave tomorrow morning. She had a set of plastic stacking drawers wedged into her car, but in getting it there, it had come apart some, so we had to take it out to tape it together better. There was a black plastic bag leaning against it, and in all the wriggling, the drawers tore a small hole in the plastic bag. After taping the drawers, I noticed a small piece of the black plastic stuck to the drawers. I took it off and tried to give it to my daughter, saying, "Here's your hole," but of course she didn't want it, so I put it (you see this coming already, don't you?) in my pocket, and said, "Now I have a hole in my pocket." Her eye-roll was hilarious.

(Does anyone else remember a similar bit from the "Yellow Submarine" movie?)

Girlfriend (Being Cute): Wait, you aren't made of money?

Me: No, just my eyes.

Girlfriend: ??

Me: Their my cents of sight.

I replied "do you think they'll effect us down here on the ground?"

She didn't get it.

I guess you could say I'm going to be cruisin for a susan.

Edit: I'm an idiot

Wanted to put on fbook but someone would think I hate women.

I sent her a picture of the progress, she replied that I probably used too much flour, I replied "Sorry, I didn't know how much I kneaded." Groans were heard around the world.

To Infiniti, and Bed Bath & Beyond!

If someone is around while my dad is looking at himself in the mirror as he's getting ready for the day (shaving, brushing teeth, etc.) he'll say "Wow, I can't wait until tomorrow." The person will say, "Why?" and he'll go "Because I just get better and better looking every day!"

I was walking past the open bathroom door, and my dad was just inspecting his shaving job. As he rubbed his cheek, he said "I can't wait for tomorrow."

Why's that dad?

"Cuz I get better looking every day."

" 'Cause I get better lookin' everyday!" Hahah I love him.

Also known as indie pendants day.