People need to stop letting off fireworks, it’s not Halloween any more
My dad told me that when he dies, he wants his ashes to be made into fireworks so he can go out with a bang.
The cops caught two fellas, one drinking battery acid and the other eating fireworks
One was charged, the other was let off
The good news about making defective fireworks...
...is that nobody points the finger at you.
I tried to trade a deer for fireworks
I want the best bang for my buck
What do fireworks taste like?
They are an explosion of flavor.
My dad got sent to the hospital by a firework
I’m trying to spark a joke about it, but it’s not helping
I work in a hospital and tonight a guy game in who blew off his finger with fireworks.
He was happy with his service...but only gave us a 9/10 rating.
I went to a fireworks store yesterday looking for a deal
Selling fireworks around the 4th of July must be a booming industry
A local fast food joint had a grand opening with a fireworks display...
There were lots of Sonic booms that night.
Why are fireworks so cool?
?What do you call a duck that loves fireworks?
A firequacker!A firequacker!
[Request] Puns relating an attractive girl and fireworks
For example, "the fireworks were bangin, but not as bangin as my date"
Thank you! I need as many as possible for a corny caption!
We were driving past the “Fireworks Superstore” when my wife exclaimed wow that place is huge.
I replied yeah you just can’t hold a candle to that place.
I was walking through a shop and I saw a sign that said: "Fireworks".
I thought, "Yes it does, especially if you want to burn stuff."
A fireworks display is nothing but an arson crafts show.
At our town's 4th of July fireworks show, a vendor was selling pet turtles. My wife, impulsive animal lover that she is, bought one.
After the fireworks, we were gathering up our things to leave. She asked if her new turtle was OK. I picked up its little carrier, peered inside, and said, "It looks a little shell-shocked."
When I die I want my funeral to have fireworks
Got my own dad yesterday during fireworks
My dad, my brothers, and I have been at our family farm (we don't live there) for the weekend of the 4th. Last night we were outside shooting off fireworks, as any real American does on the 4th. About 50 feet in front of the house is a 4 foot high fence. My dad discovered that one of the cracker launchers we had fit perfectly in the upper part to launch the crackers into the air at an angle. Always the cautious one of the bunch, I responded to his idea:
"I dunno dad, I'm on the fence about this one."
Naturally, my brothers congratulated me on how lame my jokes were and told me to go inside and make more hot dogs.
NO FIREWORKS
On the way into a camp that my family goes to every year, there is a check in area and there has always been a sign up that says "NO FIREWORKS". My uncle asked the man who was working the check in area "no fireworks?? still? you guys are always out of fireworks. can you give me a call when you get your next shipment in?"
Local police caught two men drinking battery acid and eating fireworks
They charged one and let the other one off.
Two guys got caught stealing fireworks
The cops charged one and let the other one off
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.
He charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two boys today. One was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one, and let the other one off.
Selling fireworks around the 4th of July must be a really...
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.
He charged one and let the other one off.
A police caught two kids one was playing with a battery and one was playing with a firework.
He charged one and let the other one off.
Timmy cooper classic: Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.
He charged one and let the other one off.
A battery and firework got arrested.
But after further investigation the battery was not charged and the firework was let off.
Cops arrest two kids! One for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks.
They plan to charge one and let the other one off.
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other off.
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