Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can always catch a cold.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
At breakfast last weekend, my 9 year old daughter was rushing through breakfast. She rolled up her, sunny side up, egg to eat it faster. Before she took a bite she confidently announced, with a gigantic grin on her face...
Look dad, an egg roll!!
I audibly laughed, told her that was an Awasome joke and hugged her!! I'm so proud of her!
A friend and I used to race snails and I always won. In desperation, he took the shells off all his snails. He thought it would make them faster.
But it only made them more sluggish.
What works faster than a calculator?
Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother
What do you call a drug, which cooks take so they can make food faster?
The device that is faster than you think
A shark can swim way faster than I can, but I know that I could outrun a shark.
So I guess it will all come down to the bicycle leg of the triathlon!
Why does the Flu virus spread faster in an air-conditioned room?
Because there is a carrier.
Black bears can run faster than a human, and swim faster too
So the only chance you’ll have in a triathlon is if you can bike faster
You'd think snails would be faster without their shells.
But they're actually a bit more sluggish.
Did you know pregnant horses run faster?
It’s because they have two horse power
Do snails become faster if you take off their shells?
No, they become more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail to see if it would go faster...
it only made em' more sluggish..
*slapsknee*
Why does tea brew faster on a hill?
Because it's more inclined to steep
I tried to make my racing snail faster by removing its shell.
Light travels faster than sound
That’s why people appear bright until you hear them speak
I can get a good amount of cream cheese on a bagel faster than anybody. Then I showed my kids and my friends how I do it, and they do it too.
Just saw a robber run 100 meters faster than Usain Bolt
Why are French snails faster than snails from other countries?
If you cross your fingers after a surgery you’ll heal faster
Or maybe that’s just super stitchin’
Why can’t gay guys drive faster than 68mph?
Because at 69 they will blow a rod.
Tuna must age about five times faster than humans.
This is supported by the fact that tuna half-hours are equal to 150 minutes.
(suggested to post here by the good people at r/jokes)
(OC) How come the plumber could install a sink faster than anyone else?
The patient said “I thought AFib was when your heart is beating faster.”
The doctor said, “No Afib is when you say your heart is beating faster but you know it’s not.”
My boss said I needed to tear the old insulation out of the wall faster.
I said I'm doing asbestos I can.
My friend was cooking steaks today and said they cooked faster than expected.
A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclis.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist
Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother…
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother… Sudden Lee
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot is much faster, you can catch cold.
What's faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
What works faster than a calculator?
I thought taking the shell off a snail would make it faster.
It just made it more sluggish.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
You know Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother…
Everyone knows Bruce Lee was fast, but not too many people know about his brother, who was a lot faster.
You know Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother...
Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Hot, everyone can catch a cold
Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother…
Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother..
You would think that a snail without a shell would move that bit faster..?
but it's actually more sluggish..
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
I thought removing the shell from my racing snail would make him faster
Turns out it made him very sluggish
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
What works faster than a calculator?
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