I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
So, has anyone cured GERD here?
I've been dealing with this for months. Now, I know people suffer for years, but I think I can't stand this anymore. I used to eat anything in the world, like anything, no food was ever a problem for me. Now, I can't eat almost anything, there are few food choices that don't make me go crazy. It's also really hard when you were once able to workout 5 days a week, ride a bike on a regular basis, do some really hard work almost daily, play with dogs etc. and now you feel like you are going to pass out or even die... Sometimes I literally feel like an 80 year old man, and a very sick one, but I am only 20.
I don't even know if it's a GERD, it's just the only thing I could think of. I've been dealing with some kind of pain in epigastrium, which is now good fortunately, acid reflux, shortness of breath especially when doing something just a little bit intense, sometimes going up the stairs feels harder, feeling slugish after eating, but the worst thing ever is a bad sleep. I wake up in the morning feeling so tired and I just feel like I didn't even sleep. And than there is a morning nausea after that. I had to stop 90% of my activities because of this. Has anyone experienced fatigue caused by GERD? My only thought is that this is because of my bad sleep.
I did blood test and test for H. Pylori and everything was fine. I had a gastroenterology appointment five days ago and the doctor prescribed me some medicine and told me to appoint an endoscopy if they don't help me in 7-10 days. And they haven't helped so far, if anything, it feels even worse at times. So is it really possible to get rid of this or are we guys damned? Is this even a GERD that I described?
I hope everyone is having a nice Christmas and that GERD won't cause you much troubles.
I had to leave this somewhere...
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
