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##General Info

If you love Heist's cast of colourful rogues now, think how much more you'll love them after being stuck with them for ten days! In the Endless Heist event, you begin in the Rogue Harbour and are unable to leave except to run Contracts and Blueprints. Contracts no longer cost Rogue Markers to run, and Contracts and Blueprints are available in large quantities so that you can play Heists non-stop.

Your character starts with two level 1 Contracts in their inventory. The display case at the end of a Contract is guaranteed to drop another Contract, scaling its area level with your character level. Enemies can also occasionally drop Contracts. If you ever run out, Adiyah has a stockpile of Contracts she'll sell you for bargain prices. From area level 50 onwards, Contract display cases will also have a chance to drop a Blueprint. Quest Contracts and Unique Contracts will not be available in this event.

Just like Endless Delve, Lilly Roth has shown up to sell you gems and accept divination card turn-ins. You start with unique items and extra Scrolls of Wisdom, and you gain passive skill points, Ascendancy passive skill points, and Kitava's curses as you level up.

• Starting at Noon December 17 (PST) which is Dec 17, 2021 12:00 PM (PST)
• Ending at Noon December 27 (PST) which is Dec 27, 2021 12:00 PM (PST)
• Standard, Hardcore, Standard Solo Self-Found, Hardcore Solo Self-Found versions available.
• This event is voided. (Items and characters do not transfer to parent leagues at the end of the event)

####Demigod's Authority

The top five of each Ascendancy Class in all versions of the event will be awarded a Demigod's Authority. Each Demigod's Authority will display your event class rank. Changing your Ascendancy Class is disabled for the duration of the event.

####Atlantis Mystery Box

In the Endless Heist Event, you'll be automatically awarded an Atlantis Mystery Box for reaching level 50. This is a guaranteed prize that's only available once per account. Leveling multiple characters in the same event will not grant multiple mystery boxes.

####Random Draw Microtransactions

If you reach one of the level thresholds below, you'll a

Wavebird, the Southern Seas
Sjívull Wylderrjorssían

Land! Land ahead!”

Sjívull woke with a start and rolled to his feet, springing upright only a moment before Drynllaf. Dawn was setting the ocean fog on fire, and in front of them was an impenetrable wall of mist. It would burn away at the height of the day, but as the air warmed in the morning and cooled in the evening, the sea steamed, and it took clever eyes to see anything between the shifting coils and billows.

Their lookout, Jorfydd, was unequaled. Sjívull couldn’t see anything at all through the mist, but he didn’t doubt Jorfydd’s word one bit.

“Heave to!” If they were close to shore, that maybe meant rocks, sandbanks, reefs, or an atoll. Only a foolhardy or desperate lord would sail blindly into that on the wind. The ship lurched as the crew obeyed, and Sjívull sprung nimbly to the prow, where Jorfydd was perched gazing out into the mists.

“How far?”

“Close, lord,” Jorfydd reported, with mild chagrin. “Snuck up on us, she did.”

“Well, you saw her before we hit her. That’s the important part,” Sjívull commented jovially, prompting Jorfydd to laugh. He turned back down the ship. “Furl the sails and unpack the oars!”

The oars were stowed below the deck, and retrieving them took long enough for the sun to come up a little higher and for Sjívull to finally see the land Jorfydd had spotted. It was close, indeed, maybe only a league away. He got an impression of heavy forests pushing right down to the waterline.

Drynllaf was standing at the stern with his hand on his sword, contemplating the weather, when Sjívull joined him.

“Good day to find land,” he commented after a second.

“You think the mist will hold?”

“A fog like this? It’s a dawn-to-dusker, gods have mercy. With the sail down, we might even lose our pursuers.”

“Keep it down!” Sjívull hushed him with a grin. “If Vyrthr hears you, he’ll lift the fog right this moment.”

Drynllaf harrumphed something that was almost a laugh. Vyrthr was the god of the seas, of weather…and of treachery. Every sailor knew why.

“Still. I’d wager a coastline like that has plenty of hiding places,” he mused, glancing back over his shoulder. “Rivers, coves, inlets…a hundred places Wavebird can lose our pursuers.”

“Or be cornered by them,” Sjívull reminded him. “We can’t remain at sea for long. We need drinking water, so we’ll have to head inland, upriver. And if they follow us…”

“I fancy our chances on dry land better than on the waves,

AN : Was very sick, turned out to be covid, am back now. Cant taste anything though... ._.

WIKI

First

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Cauladra

It had been a few days since Leo returned from the slums, and the state he was in shocked everyone who was present for the ball. To think that Leo could become mana depleted at all was unthinkable after feeling that endless pool, and she guessed that maybe he didn't have control over it, which only stoked her curiosity even more.

Now that Cauladra was done with the rush of magical paperwork she had to help with, she was heading to Anasslia to drop her contract with the court. Despite the recent reason for her decision being her desire to learn more about Leo, the truth was that this was bound to happen.

Knowing Anasslia, she would have pushed for Cauladra to study enchanted stuff coming out of Telnar to see how she could use it against her enemies, and that infuriated her. Although Cauladra would love to spend hours testing and experimenting with the new runes, why would she settle for that when she could just go to the source?

Entering Anasslia's chambers, Cauladra saw that Qassria was present as well, but Anasslia looked a little irritated as she glared at Qassria. “...to do this mother, because you were right. I understand that it will be after Selaria is under your control, but I will be leaving as soon as that matter is settled.”

Anasslia’s eyes sharpened at her daughter. “While I am ecstatic that you've finally realized how foolish you've been, I thought I told you that you were to marry him. Do you not und-” She paused to arch a brow at Cauladra, finally noticing the passive observer. “Yes? What do you need, I am in the middle of a private matter.” She remarked with a layer of hostility as she narrowed her eyes.

Cauladra briefly had second thoughts about announcing her resignation at this point in time, but she should get rid of it sooner rather than later, considering Anasslia's mood was starting to deteriorate after the ball anyway. "Anasslia, I've come to tell you that I'll be terminating my contract." She declared to the surprise of both selarins.

Anasslia's speechless state lasted for only a few moments before she started to direct her previous glare at Cauladra. "If I'm not mistaken, the contract stated that you we

Thursday?

[First] [Prev] [Next] [Wiki]

Later than I wanted. But I found this one hard to write.

So as always a big thank you for sticking with me and commenting on my story! I hope ta see you next time!

_____________________________________________________________________________

Sitting silently in the dark of his room, Michael leaned back into his couch, resting his head as he reflected upon current events. His mission was clear, but still, he felt lost when considering his next plan of action.

Staying hidden was one path he could take, though considering the Prince knew of his presence, it was a near-worthless one, one that essentially put his mission in a failure state. He sighed and lifted his head slightly, only to drop it back upon the cushion in annoyance as he continued to think.

Taking the other shielded cities and handing over the Scion Matron to protect the alien history as agreed upon was another path, Michael thought reluctantly. Though, upon thinking heavily on this option, he decided the Matron was too important of a piece for the Alliance to just hand over like that. "Would the Prince destroy the cities in anger just because he could?" He voiced silently.

Michael exhaled again in frustration as he shook his head into the couch, ruffling his hair and reminding him of a much-needed cut. He quickly noticed that his breathing had drastically slowed as he drifted in the late night and inhaled loudly through his nose as he continued his pondering. He knew both Jack and Commander Soto were also thinking of ideas, but even during his rest period, he couldn't help but reflect on the problems before him. Michael closed his eyes and threw his arms out to the sides in exasperation. "How do I get myself out of this mess I made." He thought for what felt like the hundredth time.

A cooling sensation began to spread through his lap, one that went unnoticed, much like his breathing as his thoughts wandered. That is until he felt the cooling sensation slip under his shirt and slide up his chest. "Di

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

"What the hell were you thinking, Zanra?"

"I don't know, Damir. Maybe I was thinking that we're on a mission of discovery and personal injury is an acceptable risk."

"Of course, If it gains us knowledge." Damir stomped toward her as he spoke, each of his four foot pads emphasizing one syllable. Yet when it came time to touch Zanra's wound, his fingers became like feathers. She recoiled even from this and sent him storming around the medical bay, eventually tossing a tray of sterile instruments to the floor.

"Enough!," said a third voice.

Damir stopped his tantrum long enough to address the newcomer. "Stay out of this, Petra."

Petra picked up a fallen scalpel and examined its blade. "If only the blade of reason, could cut through this prideful lesion."

"We're not in the mood for poetry," said Damir.

Petra handed the scalpel to Zanra. "If he tries to touch you again."

"You should see how we touch when you're not looking," said Damir softly.

"What was that, little man?," said Petra.

"I said that I was trying to comfort Zanra. You'd know that if you ever bothered to ask."

Petra dismissed him with a click of her eye stalks but nodded for Zanra to explain.

Zanra hoisted herself onto the examination table and lifted her right rear leg. There, on the abdominal part of her jumpsuit, was a large blood stain.

"My god," said Petra.

"I told you!," said Damir.

Thanks to the sexual dimorphism of their species, Petra was twice Damir's weight and a meter taller. "Crawl back to your quarters," she said while towering over him.

Damir locked eyes with her, but his 150 centimeter height and 80 kilograms had no effect. After a few embarrassing seconds, he conceded to his diminutive status and left the medical bay.

In the male's absence Petra more closely examined Zanra. Off came the stained jumpsuit to expose the naked wound. "It's deep," said Petra. "I'm surprised that you aren't in terrible pain."

"The whole area feels numb, like when you get a local anesthetic."

"Cuts don't normally come with painkillers. What caused it?"

"I was in a chamber just off the main corridor connecting the eastern and western halls. In the middle of the chamber, surrounded by stone tables, was a black obelisk with six arms hanging radially and a crystalline orb on top. The orb was covered in symbols that reminded me of buttons. Thinking it was a control panel, I reached up and pressed a symbol. One of the arms sprang to life and—"

"Gouged a canyon in your side."

"It was such a

This is a very good article from FT that goes over all the supply chains issues problems. Yeah, the problem will not be magically fixed. Good for ZIM!

https://www.ft.com/content/21242e3b-298b-4a6f-a35f-32fdde905952

>Bob Biesterfeld knows the depths of the global supply chain crisis first hand — he has hauliers still unloading Halloween costumes from containers at the Los Angeles and Long Beach port complex.
>
>For the boss of CH Robinson, North America’s largest freight broker, the delayed shipments of vampire, ghost and witch outfits provides the perfect illustration of the turmoil in ocean shipping for the past 18 months. About 90 per cent of world trade moves by sea, and these logistical woes have tormented businesses across the globe from Argentine winemakers to Sri Lankan clothing producers.
>
>Record vessel delays have clogged ports and crammed warehouses, adding to the supply ruptures caused by the semiconductor crunch and petrochemical shortages. Smaller companies have had to fight tooth and nail to secure space on container ships to keep production and sales moving while facing cash flow pressure as they soak up rocketing freight rates — up seven times on average pre-pandemic levels — and mounting stockpiles. Consumers have experienced it via empty shelves, limited product availability and rising prices.
>
>Jens Bjorn Andersen, chief executive of DSV, one of the world’s largest logistics groups currently squeezed between frustrated shipping lines and angry customers, describes the situation as “the worst I’ve seen” after more than three decades in the industry.
>
>The shipping bottlenecks have exposed one of the most serious threats to the global economy as it emerges from the pandemic: whether the worldwide traffic jam remains gridlocked or begins to flow again in 2022. If the bottlenecks persist, freight costs will remain high, space for cargo on ships will be limited and retailers and manufacturers will have to endure chronic delays. That could in turn fuel inflation, prompt supply chain upheavals and accelerate consolidation of shipping networks, fundamentally changing world trade.
>
>During the pandemic, container shipping had to juggle a tremendous surge in consumer demand for goods with the reality of having slashed capacity during the initial lockdowns in the first half of 2020. As a result a highly synchronised syste

It’s 7:00 PM. It’s hard to keep sleeping.

I was woken up by my grandma and mom talking to my sister over the phone. I don’t have anything bad to say about that. They laugh, that’s good, even if it wakes me up. They mostly talk about my sister's kid, he’s having a hard time, not that I think he realizes it - I think he’s going strong, causing chaos, but the doctors with their graphs and rays and ominous expressions say a lot of foreboding things and look smart while they do it.

I don’t think I ate at all yesterday, I hardly drank anything either. Now I’m listening to ‘Nationalism Debate: Yaron Brook and Yoram Hazony | Lex Fridman Podcast #256’

I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore, but I still feel like I’d rather not exist at this moment.

I have to remember to edit these on google drive before I try posting to reddit, because the formatting gets all messed up and I don’t want to spend time fixing that. I’m making food, cheese stuffed chicken cut apart, doused in ranch, and thrown into a tortilla. My friend said the Mormons taught them this recipe. I don’t know what the mormons stand for but they’ve influenced my diet.

I already paused the podcast. I don’t think I care about the nationalism debate one way or another, but I have to admit it’s important - I think it’s just another blackbox, whose hole I could lose all of my energy in and not get any further understanding.

Vaping is still painful. I’m pretty much out of weed, except for some crumbs. Now I’m sitting in silence waiting for my chicken to cook. We have this micro-oven kind of deal that I find awesome, it’s quick. I’m impatient.

I had hoped that when I had journaled enough, I’d get to dump all this clutter, and baggage, that maybe if I dug into the things that were distracting me I’d finally uncover them all and be able to write about the future, instead of being stuck in some kind of past. This is some attempt at catching up, I suppose. What happens when I write down everything that needs to be said - what comes after that?

I wonder!

I want to start progressing further into Franz Bardon's Initiation to Hermetics - the reading group I’m in for it has been quiet for the last two days but I sent a message.

“I think I'm going to start progressing past Step 1, but I'm around to discuss any troublesome parts of it before I move ahead here”

There is a benefit in working together, there’s a lot of things that don’t make perfect sense, and I don’t pretend to be able to solve anyones questi

So, I've been seeing a LOT of people commenting on how r/antiwork seems to no longer be about abolishing work itself and is instead devolving into a toothless "but what if work was nicer" mentality. And yeah, I get the frustration, but I don't think that that is necessarily a bad thing. We're at an unprecedented point in our history as a species.

Consider this. Humans have been a species for millions of years (give or take, evolution is complicated). For that entire time, we have been in a zero sum game, where if you wanted greater prosperity, you had to take it from someone else. Land can only produce so much on its own, and your labor could only extract so much of it. If you wanted more, you had to make other people do it. That was the reality of our existence for millions of years.

However, not even 100 years ago, we quietly reached a turning point where America began to produce so much surplus food that it actually had to be stockpiled or outright destroyed to not completely crash the price of food. Obviously, this is cause for celebration, but the sort of generosity that that level of productivity allows for is incompatible with the zero sum game mentality that we, as a species, quite literally evolved with. So we just sort of ignored that we can literally feed the entire planet. And now, with automation, we are at that point with so many other industries, and it's become so obvious that everyone is taking notice.

Now, the change won't exactly happen overnight. The American cult of work is deeply entrenched in the very fabric of our national identity. A lot of people have based huge aspects of their identities on how proud they are of their ability to endure the suffering that forced labor puts them through, and the cult of work frames all suffering as virtuous. So the people who would benefit most from abolishing work are the most opposed to it because they have conflated abuse with virtue.

But here's the thing. We are advancing faster than ever before. Automation has completely changed the face of labor in a span of mere decades, upending a status quo which has been unshakeable for longer than we as a species are able to remember. Not everyone has realized that. Not everyone even has access to the resources that they need to be able to realize that. A lot of them are still being taught that abuse is love and that suffering is proof of goodness.

So yeah, it's going to take most of the world a while to realize that yes, we can just stop working

Do your worst!

First|Previous|Next

It was amusing, really. Ashira had gone from denying her attraction to Max, to hiding it, to embracing it with open arms. And now, she was back to hiding it all again. Only this time, it wasn't from him. It was from her fellow students.

As much as she wanted to announce it to the world, she was worried that the news would sour her relationship with Hoyora and put her on Toya's bad side, and she did not want to have enemies for neighbors. Of course, the topic would have to be brought up at some point, but it had to wait until the woman was ready to address it.

'Two steps forward, one step back,' Ashira complained to herself as she averted her gaze from Max for the third time in as many minutes. Even though he was fully suited up, his features smoothed out by the thick, smooth lavender fabric of his soft armor, her mind had more than enough material to work with. She had seen him in the morning, after all.

Paradoxically, having a better idea of what the man looked like beneath his layers made Ashira’s imagination run wild all the more. She had seen just enough to form a relatively clear image of the man in her head; the only part that remained fuzzy and undefined in her mind’s eye was Max’s crotch area. That, she would have to wait until the day’s end to see.

It was helpful, then, that Ashira’s mental faculties were almost fully taken up by the task before her, leaving nearly no processing power reserved for daydreaming. That task was fencing.

Ivan had introduced a new type of bout format, which he called an “Overtime Scramble”. It was a fairly simple concept. The bout would begin as a normal five-touch, with the two opposing fencers attempting to either run out the clock with the score in their favor, or to bring their own score to five. When the three minutes were up, or one fencer prevailed in their quest for five touches, the modification to the bout would then come into effect.

The score would reset to zero, and the time on the clock would be set to one minute: the setup for a one-touch tiebreaker round. The fencer who had won the prior bout would have priority, meaning that, should time run out without a touch being scored, t

They were cooked in Greece.

This will be a long post, sectioned into multiple parts, so if you want a TL;DR at the bottom, go read that. This also contains manga spoilers, so begone, anime-onlies!

Part One: The Background

My Hero Academia as a series is a great examination at what makes someone a hero, and what makes someone a villain. The series, written by mangaka Kohei Horikoshi, delves into the psychologies behind good and evil and how they clash with and disrupt each other, especially when framed as official positions within society, where one can get a special license to be a superhero, and where one can list ‘former villain’ on a resume as a person in our world may list prison time on theirs. This sets a precedent for fantastical translations of mundane things in our world, that are transformed through the lens of professional heroism in this universe.

One of these translations is that of the private school. My Hero Academia is largely set inside of UA High School, hence the name. UA is an academy which trains and produces top notch heroes such as the number one ranked hero known as All Might, or the runner up, Endeavour. These heroes walked UA’s hall, so it’s no wonder that so many would jump at the chance to be taught by them. This is the primary concept of the series; high school students training to become superheroes and use their powers responsibly.

That’s another major facet of the series; superpowers. The series calls them ‘Quirks’, or ‘Individualities’ in the original Japanese, before Horikoshi changed it to align with the far more popular term, ‘Quirk’. Quirks are, in essence, extensions of the human body that produce an effect either in or outside the body, such as the ability to produce ice and flames from the right and left side of one’s body, or the power to harden one’s skin to the point where they become impenetrable. Almost all of the population has a Quirk, with education and training geared toward these powers being focused on more heavily than the variation without. This leads to entire schools based on the concept of training one’s Quirk to become a superhero, or a Pro Hero in the series’ language, which is what UA is.

The first story arc of the story involves our protagonist, Izuku Midoriya, taking part in UA’s entrance exam due to his dream of becoming a hero like his idols. The first part of the exam goes horribly for Midoriya, but not because of the exam’s inherent difficulty. In fact, the other applicants get dozens of points just fine. It’s

As the title says it's pretty clear most people complaining about this game being in it's worst state ever haven't played for more than a year or so.

You never played back when kappa didn't even exist, nor flea market. The game has gotten progressively easier as time has went on and BSG moving to dynamic loot is a good change, the braindead chads can no longer buy an SJ6 and rush techlight/ultra med for a free mil with little to no risk if you get a good spawn. Complaining about the game being hard to make money but once you hit level 20 you have access to pretty much every item in the game. Before flea you'd have to hop into a factory raid with some shady guy from blacksite who was supposedly gonna drop his gamma for 9mil.

Complaining about the game breaking bugs and server issues is a joke compared to what they used to be. As far as bugs go I could spend hours talking about them like infinite endurance and strength leveling running under the pipe on the interchange highway, or the month or so where factory was just full of pistol glitching rats. I won't even mention money dupes or the fact that reshade meant nvgs were pretty much useless.

The lack of content recently is fair enough but we've gotten massive updates with insane qol changes, along with scav bosses for almost every map. And BSG have gotten much better with announcing wipes, if any old players remember #FireKlean and the numerous delayed wipes with horrible PR (sorry Klean).

This game has come a long long way from what it used to be, so what if there is a lack of content during a worldwide pandemic and BSG have finally run out of content they have stockpiled. I'm sure they're doing their absolute best to keep it going because this game wasn't meant for players, it was a passion project and the moves towards a more hardcore game show that Nikita still wants it to be a passion project and obviously still cares.

Edit: Fuck me this got a lot of replies, about 10% of you are still complaining about dynamic loot but continually looting the same spots, turn your brains on and you'll make money like before.

As for the agreeing and disagreeing sides, my opinion hasn't changed. For newer players fair enough if you think it's in its worst state ever but it is far from that, and there have been many dry streaks like this before and probably more to come.

I think one thing that we as a community really should start doing is giving feedback like it was used to be given because nikita used to read

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Below is my reworking of the old domain of Sanguinia. I published it in the third issue of Strahd Loves, Man Kills, which you can find here if you're interested in checking it out further.

Sanguinia

Domain of Feudal Excesses

Darklords: Count Magnus von Karlok and Countess Yulia Skarnstein

Genres: Gothic horror and dark fantasy

Hallmarks: Oppressed peasants, decadent nobility, blood tithes

Mist Talismans: Bejeweled goblet, fragment of shattered crown

Sanguinia is a cold northern realm of defiled churches, sprawling castles, and humble farming communities. Once a land held in thrall by a single capricious feudal prince, Sanguinia is now a realm divided. Two vampire nobles vie against each other for control of Sanguinia. In the south, Count Magnus von Karlok holds sway over the territories encircling Fagarus. In the north, Countess Yulia Skarnstein rules the villages, towns, and hamlets that surround Kosova.  A look of fear, resentment, and resignation is common in the eyes of Sanguinian serfs. The mortal peasantry who populate the land are forced to work the unforgiving and often barren soil of Sanguinia just to eke out a meager existence. Worse yet, they must pay a tithe in blood to the vampires who reign over them as undying lords. Although they are oppressed by undead nobles they cannot hope to overcome, revolts among the lower classes are becoming increasingly more common, incendiary, and dangerous in Sanguinia. These petty rebellions are always violently suppressed by the vampires who govern the domain.

Countess Skarnstein and Count von Karlok contest each other’s rule in both overt and subtle ways. Each wishes to usurp the other from their territory so that they might rule all of Sanguinia. Yulia Skarnstein has spies hidden within the Count’s household and plots to lure him into a cunning trap that will end his unnatural existence. Magnus von Karlok has marshaled his troops, annexed villages that belonged to the Countess’s dominion, and hopes to one day meet Yulia on the field of battle so that he might kill her personally. Neither can rest easy while the other still exists. The people of Sanguinia are caught in the middle of this ferocious and unending enmity.

Noteworthy Features

Those familiar with Sanguinia know the following facts:

• Sanguinia was once a united kingdom ruled by Prince Ladislav Mircea, but is now divi

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

So I recently played through Xenoverse and noticed some bugs that happened to exist within the game.

1: If a Pokemon faints from STealth Rock's but then also Velvet Scales in on the field, It caused me to get a free turn before the opponent sent out their next mon for some reason.

2: Spit Up seems to not have varible damage but rather seems to just be stuck with 1 Base Power, as it was dealing very little damage even with Stockpile being used multiple times.

3: Gliscor should be compatible with the Roost TM but for whatever reason, It's not compatible in Xenoverse.

4: Marshadow isnt compatible with any TM's for some reason.

5: Some move descriptions are still in Italian such as Dragon Endurance and Velvet Scales

6: Mold Breaker appears to just straight up not work at all (Like it never bypassed Sturdy even though it should)

and finally

7: Some lines are still in Italian from some NPCs

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

I wanted to come here and say: I was NOT prepared for that difficulty shift from dread to nightmare. I had a good run going and then shit hit the fan fast. Went in with two fully upgraded characters, managed to get into Rusty Rosie’s base, feeling good despite some issues along the way, even lost my 3rd character due to mistiming somethings, but nothing I couldn’t handle…

Then the spawning madness happened after growing the community up to 5.

Went to recruit from some allies to fill the slot of a doctor and 3 blood plague screamers spawned (on the porch) with a horde out of nowhere. It was jarring, so I decided to try the “drop out and drop back in” advice I’ve seen to dance around that….

NOPE. Screamers we’re back instantly. Tried again, thinking that had to be a fluke/shit luck. Well, it was definitely shit luck, because the second time landed me with 3 ferals in the house and 2 hordes on the way. Killed the ferals, got the doc, and booked it thinking jfc that was bad timing.

Did I rage quit/drop difficulty then? Nooo, because I was well beyond day 20 and still feeling good, and my hubris clearly needed a better reality check. This nearly costed me my “hard to kill” character on a simple trade run.

3 ferals spawned at the car I brought. Okay…lured them away and dove into the car to take off for the base. 3 bp screamers and 2 hordes, dodged. 3 more ferals and another horde, dodged. Shit shit SHIT—3 bp bloaters spawn in front of my car, I hit them top speed and crash in front of a plague heart and 2 hordes.

Found out I couldn’t use endurance boosters while dying from the plague (good to know), so after staggering away with the hordes hot on her heels, I give my gal the cure, then a boost to run to the nearest ladder while weaving around bp zombies galore, and I basically swore to her if I got her home I would drop the combat down to dread again.

Lo and behold, I did and thought I’d share my first real taste of that nightmare leap I’ve seen others talked so much about. I‘ve never wished so much to have a recording, but quite frankly, I’m just happy one of my favs is still alive. Now to build up this community and stockpile before trying again later. 😂

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

The War council was appalled.

The General Lord Commander of all war operations against the Human foe stood before the military Tribunal, still oddly wearing his field command helmet for the hearing.

"What is the meaning of the ceasefire against these pitiful Humans? How can you possibly justify the Issuance for Peace?.. and why are you wearing that ridiculous thing still? Your bearing does not represent your family heritage very well- not at all I must say."

The General shifted uncomfortably. This hearing was very significant, and his family honors will suffer, indeed. Several Titles of Barony over a moon or two will be revoked for this, certainly. Honor and reputation was very important, after all. The Family Heraldry may even get a black mark upon it for centuries to come, because of this. Those Damnable Humans!

"Members of the Tribunal, My helmet is still born, for reasons that will become clear by the end of this inquiry."

"I am sorry to insist, General, that you remove your combat helmet this instant! Your honor demands it!"

Reluctantly, the General removed his helmet, and stood there in shame.

"My.. I don't know what to say! WHAT HAPPENED to you! Who would ever dream to even DO such a dishonorable thing!?"

The General was indeed in a sorry state. Both of his horns were broken, splintered into shameful stumps. His Fangs, that in bio records were remarkably, very nobly long.. all 4 were ripped out, revealing disgusting, basal pink gum pits- something only convicted criminals had to live with for the rest of their lives in slavery. Indeed; the once Noble General looked very much like a lowest, commoner, plebian slave. Even as a disfigured criminal. It was appalling.

Worst of all, the Regal Tattoos, up the left and right side of his face were.. obliterated. Somehow, the ink under the skin was disrupted, the marks and deeply ceremonic awards were unrecognizable.

"Yes, I know. I can never return to my Home or Family after... this." He waved his hand to indicate his face. "I made the mistake of being alone near some of the Humans. They got too close, and overpowered me for a few minutes before the guards could arrive. That was all the time it took"

"The OUTRAGE! Certainly those Humans were-"

"oh yes, they were captured, and are undeniably all dead. But as they say 'the Damage was already Done'."

"This makes no sense... why would such a defeated race be so- savage?"

"Its a human term. Its called "Spite"... or maybe "Vindictive"? They were def

Pilot on me!!

Wow, the human does human things, creatures do creature things, and sci-fi research facilities do sci-fi research facility things. DO NOT fuck with the eggs, Ripley. Love ya, and happy new year's eve nerds.

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Chapter 5

The Captain of the Holy Mother’s Directive began briefing Specialist Taylor on the way towards a small facility nestled against Hydroponics, moving with grace between bulkheads along the passageway with a gait suggestive of a dancer.

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell a human that the universe can be a dangerous place. Without you, the Galactic Union’s less militaristic species may have been hard pressed to fight off outside threats so readily. Your addition to the GU was lauded by many species as a windfall; it’s not every day we find another sapient omnivore from such a highly rated death-world. That’s not to say that it’s unthinkable, but given the large number of environmental factors, let’s just say most people in the Galactic Union consider Earth or Genesis to be largely uninhabitable. They’re too tectonically active, their seasons too harsh, their axial spin too brutal, to say nothing about the gravity or temperature extremes.”

Captain Angari L’lesh turned her head towards Rowan, lambent electric blue eyes gazing at them closely.

Blinking slowly, she continued, “If something goes wrong, anywhere in space, the first people to investigate are often us; we go farther, faster, and our missions are of great import. We are soldiers, we are scientists, but above all, we are fact-finders.”

The captain continued, waving her hand in front of a door panel to allow entrance. “Our current mission after picking you up in Entiat space is to investigate a possible disturbance on Rathi, one of the Farok-shi frontier worlds. Their oceans aren’t too dissimilar from our own, so it made a great first stepping stone for early Farok-shi settlers.”

Arriving at the pool, the captain quickly shed her clothing and dove into the small pool. Surfacing to continue their conversation, Angari held onto the side of the pool, looking up at Rowan. “But it’s been many millennia, and the advent of FTL after integrating with the Galactic Union made it so easy to find more habitable planets; Rathi became something of a frontier world, with only small outposts and cities dotting the southern h

Christopher Walken

Introduction

With the release of Croesus, one of the main complaints I saw was about the fact that it was a mandatory group skilling boss (at least for realistically consistent completion). Lots of people were averse to the idea of being forced to do group content, especially a number of skillers who viewed their primary Runescape activity as a solo one. I'm someone who greatly enjoys Croesus. I like the design of the encounter and how it feels like skilling while also encouraging a degree of cooperation (which comes into play more when things go wrong). I don't think Croesus should scale to solo because of how it's designed, but I thought that why not have a different skilling boss that works as a solo encounter. Combined with the other common voice of people wondering about the fact that Big Game Hunter didn't seem to be considered a skilling boss, along with a mod (I forgot who) mentioning that it wasn't quite at the level they wanted, an obvious candidate emerged.

Enter the Apex Apoterrasaur, an elusive and highly intelligent apoterrasaur that Irwinsson has managed to track all the way to the northeast region of Anachronia Volcano, which seems to be its nesting ground. Capturing it however has proven far more difficult than expected. The beast spends most of its time airborne, only swooping down for brief moments to catch its prey. And while those moments are enough to shoot it with his crossbow traps, the Apex seems unusually resistant to all three standard varieties of Anachronia poison frog. It was only a chance encounter that revealed its weakness. One day while pondering this quandary, Irwinsson noticed a rather dazed, unsteady looking feral dinosaur find itself the target of the Apex's eyes. It was quickly caught and killed, but biting into the dinosaur's flesh seemed to pass on some of the effects onto the Apex itself. Irwinsson observed the dinosaurs for several days and found the source of this condition: cactoads. It appears that the rare cactoad, native to the northern regions of Anachronia, possesses a poison that could affect even the Apex, albeit only slightly. He soon began to hatch a plan that would allow for the capture of the beast once and for all.

Irwinsson's trap is a specialised combination of pitfall and deadfall trapping, exploiting the Apex's tendency to dive at moving prey in order to catch it with a well-timed rockslide, immobilising it long enough to land a killing blow. He has located a rather opportune cliff for this

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "