(Warning: Morbid dad joke) True Story -- My family were planning my mum's funeral. We always try to keep things light and try to stay positive, just as Mum would have it...
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit--
I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit--
Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
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︎ May 12 2021
I'm so proud. My 12-year old told this joke during dinner: What degree does Dr. Pepper have?
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︎ Apr 30 2021
I did have some jokes about the Middle East in mind...
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
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︎ Apr 04 2021
The Killing Joke
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︎ May 12 2021
No more Suez Canal jokes!
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︎ Mar 29 2021
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
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︎ May 09 2021
A lot of the jokes on this sub are just terrible, but at the end of the day...
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︎ Apr 20 2021
You want to know where dads store all the dad jokes?
They store it in dad-a-base.
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︎ Mar 25 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Jokes about menstruation are not funny.
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Gay jokes aren't even funny, like
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︎ Apr 15 2021
An actual joke from my dad this weekend
Dad: The sun is out! Oh nevermind now it's gone
Me: It's just a little shy
Dad: yeah that's why they call it sunSHYne...
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︎ Apr 25 2021
A communism joke isnβt funny
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︎ Feb 28 2021
One time I posted 10 jokes in a row, hoping at least one would make Dads laugh on r/dadjokes
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
I want to tell a vaccine joke
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︎ Feb 18 2021
I told my son that I have 19 jokes about ducks
18 are too fowl to repeat but this one just quacks me up
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︎ May 05 2021
I've got a joke about Elton John.
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︎ May 08 2021
Iβm about to share a joke thatβll turn r/dadjokes upside down
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Was going to do a COVID joke...
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︎ Apr 19 2021
What do you say to warn your family you're about to test a new dad joke on them?
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︎ Mar 11 2021
Who needs a nornal joke when you can have a running joke?
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︎ Feb 28 2021
Wanna hear a joke about construction?
... im still working on it
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︎ Apr 14 2021
I was going to make a joke about Bill Gates Divorce but I decided not to..
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︎ May 06 2021
Not sure if this qualifies as dad joke, but anyways here I go: I had to strongly disagree with a friend who accused me of being a severe fence-sitter
Then again, I get where heβs coming from.
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︎ May 10 2021
I think joule really likes this joke
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I was gonna tell a time travelling joke
but you guys didnt like it
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︎ May 06 2021
An actual joke from my 8 year old - Why canβt you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
I was proud.
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Mountain jokes are always the funniest
Because they're peak comedy
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︎ May 13 2021
My Wife said she would leave me if I didnβt stop singing songs by the Monkees, I thought she was joking
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Iβd like to make a joke about chemistry
But all the good ones argon
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︎ May 01 2021
I've made a joke about vacuums
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︎ Apr 22 2021
Joke I made to my gamer buddy.
Friend: -Sighs-
Me: -AGGRESSIVELY LOUD SIIIIIIIIIIIGH-
Friend: "The heck was that?"
Me: "I heard you were sighin', so I thought I'd join you and go super sighin.
(Dragonball Z joke with Saiyans)
Background to this joke: Took me years to get the perfect setup for this joke. Needed a bunch of friends present for maximum groans/laughs, needed to remember to do it, and needed friend to sigh and follow up to my ridiculous-ness. It was one of my most satisfying jokes I've told.
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︎ May 08 2021
Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad
Me: I'm a faux pas
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Cruel joke my dad used to play
When I was a kid, my dad used to ask me if I wanted to go to Cotton Springs. When I said yes, he would tell me to go to bed :(
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︎ Apr 26 2021
Fathers actually never joke about adoption tho
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︎ Mar 20 2021
I was going to tell you a joke about scoliosis
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︎ May 04 2021
What makes a Bad joke a Dad joke
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︎ May 07 2021
Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
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︎ Jan 11 2021
My bedroom window is East facing so I bought black out curtains to keep the sunlight out.
The difference is like night and day.
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︎ May 12 2021
Me: βIβm kidding. I was just making a dad joke.β
8-year-old daughter: βMakes sense. Cuz I didnβt laugh.β
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︎ May 12 2021
My Child asked me βwhat is a dark joke?β I said to him βyou see that man trying to find his car?β
My son looks at me and says, βyou know Iβm blind right?β Me being me said βExactlyβ
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︎ May 05 2021
I tried to tell a joke about a guillotine
I didn't execute it properly
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︎ Apr 21 2021
I have a hunch you will like this joke
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︎ Jan 30 2021
Mother's day joke, accidental but hilarious
I asked my husband if he knew any Italian words,
He told me "My wife is bellissimo"
I told him, "That's beautiful"
Happy mother's day!
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︎ May 09 2021
How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke?
Heβs Dublin clover with laughter.
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︎ May 08 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Itβs too late to make Suez Canal jokes now
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︎ Mar 29 2021
Want to hear a joke about construction?
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︎ Apr 13 2021
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