Dominion War Puns

There used to be two great punners. We were the best at what we did. And what we did was pun. There was me, a simple lad from a tiny backwater town and then there was him. A swarthy fellow from the land of the Armada, the Inquisition and the Conquistadors. A Spaniard he was, by both birth and spirit. We duelled relentlessly, always gaining ground only to see it slip away, a pun-of-war as it were. A seemingly eternal struggle for dominion. This endless struggle took its toll on both him and I, until I realized that it was time to stop. I chose to cede the mantle to him. And I will never go back to that life.

And so...

There will only be Juan.