Why did the outlaw tailor seek sanctuary at Disneyland?

They'd let her lie low and stitch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/such_hpn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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If you buy Disney stock, and wait till they start competing with Netflix in November, you won't want to go to Disneyland or Disney World.

The stock itself will give you enough of a roller coaster ride.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aiaor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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Waiting in line at Disneyland

A few years back the wife and I were waiting in line for a ride at Disneyland, and we were stopped next to a cast member door. One cast member was leaving for their break and asked if they could cross, and we kindly backed up a little for her. As she opened the door another cast member was coming out, who also crossed in front of us. I immediately turned to my wife and exclaimed "We've been double crossed!"

πŸ‘︎ 749
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scaryuncledevin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2016
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My Dad was buying us snacks at Disneyland...

It was raining heavily, we were all wearing our ponchos, and my Dad was grabbing some snacks at one of those stands. The cashier informed him of the total amount due, and with a credit card in his hand he asked, "do you take plastic?" The cashier responded with a "yes" and he proceeded to hand her part of his poncho. He looked towards us with a massive grin as the cashier stood perplexed. He looked more proud of himself than I've ever seen him!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nietzscheman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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My daughter loves Mickey Mouse, so that's why I had to go to Disneyland.

When I came home, I told her where I have been to, she was very excited.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dj_techguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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My fiance and I were discussing driving the kids down to Disneyland later this year

Me: If we go in December, we should take an extra day to check out the cow pastures. Her: Cow pastures? Me: Yeah. In the winter, they have a lot of cool shit. Her: sigh

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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Turns ot the busts on the haunted mansion ride at Disneyland don't actually look at you. They're just carved into the wall.

So that's a releif.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FremanKynes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
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Discussing going to Disneyland today (it's raining)

Sister: "hmm, I wonder what Disneyland is like in the rain." Dad: "Wet."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaypalm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2016
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We were in Disneyland and...

My sister and I were next in line for Space Mountain. Unfortunately, after around 30 minutes of waiting, the crew in charge announced that they are going to go under maintenance. Some Russian kid behind us (around 10 years old) screamed, "MOTHERFOOKER!!!!!" My sister thought it was really funny so she told my dad the story, but used motherf-er instead. She then asked, "Wait, you know what motherf-er is, right?" to which my dad replied, "Yeah. She's the wife of fatherf-er."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-vixi-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
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JUNGLE CRUISE at Disneyland (full of dad jokes)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9WFfHMwo_Lg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ludacris6901
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2015
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My dad is at Disneyland

I like star wars. My dad knows this. My dad had never been a "dad joke" sort of person. He is an accountant by trade and other than being family we have never been very close. My sister jokes about it even. But he is my dad and I love him.

He has been mellowing in recent years now that both kids are out of the house. Oh yeah, and that whole nearly dying during an emergency surgery thing a few years back.

Anyway, tonight he texts me out of nowhere. And hits me with this: http://imgur.com/Qq6S6PA (transcript below)

"How do you know you have a wookie cookie?"

"... I don't know. How?"

"it's Chewwie"

My dad ladies and gents. Has just joined the dad joke Club.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drakythe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
🚨︎ report
My wife and I ran into some friends at Disneyland.

Wife: What are the odds?!
Me: 1, 3, 5, 7, 9...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ithinkitsduke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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Jungle Cruise @ Disneyland

The ride is just a 10 minute string of Dad Jokes...

[referring to the head hunter]: "That's Charlie, the head salesman. This month he's offering a 2 for 1 special... you'll come out a head"

[referring to the piranhas in the river]: "Those are man-eating piranhas, so the women and children don't have much to worry about"

Any others? Sooo many....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__Sisyphus__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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What's wrong with Mickey Mouse's helicopter?

Disneyland

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arroword-Warrior
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Found out last night that my 7 year old son is a dad

On our last day of a three day trip at Disneyland, my 7 year old revealed his inner father to my wife.

>wife: This backpack is good but could use more shoulder padding.

Son, with a shit eatin' grin, walks up and pats her on the shoulders.

I have never been so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jessesc123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad's "joke of the week"

I little boy asks his grandfather, β€œGrandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?” Gramps says, β€œI think so, why are you asking”. The little boy says, β€œMy mom said when you croak, we can go to Disneyland”.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/411inthe412
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Got the wife and MiL yesterday

All while planning next year's big trip to Disneyland.

Wife: We can make our daughter wear a dress!

MiL: Yeah she could wear a tu-tu!

Me: Well if we're going all out, why don't we just get her a three-three!

eyes roll

MiL to Wife: You know you could wear a tu-tu too!

Me: The math still adds up, so we are getting a three-three!

groans

Wife: Shut up.

Thanks, I'm here all week.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipiopi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad told me this one the other day.

A family is driving to Disneyland for vacation and they see a sign that says, "Disneyland left."

So they all started crying and went home.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/G1ng
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2014
🚨︎ report
My Dad was buying us snacks at Disneyland...

It was raining heavily, we were all wearing our ponchos, and my Dad was grabbing some snacks at one of those stands. The cashier informed him of the total amount due, and with a credit card in his hand he asked, "do you take plastic?" The cashier responded with a "yes" and he proceeded to hand her part of his poncho. He looked towards us with a massive grin as the cashier stood perplexed. He looked more proud of himself than I've ever seen him!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nietzscheman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
🚨︎ report
(In Scottish Accent) What's wrong with Mickey Mouse's helicopter...

Disneyland

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keano1205
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Mickey Mouse's helicopter?

Disneyland

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nodogsaloud
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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