Dirty Honey Puns

Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

My daughter was asking her mother how to spell words. Daughter: "Mom? How do you spell butt." Mother: "Honey, we don't write dirty words." Daughter: "What about mud?"

I'm proud of her