What did God do after he created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness?

Called it a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AspChef
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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In the darkness...

In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chemist612
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I walked downstairs to find my daughter eating cereal in complete darkness

I asked her, "What kind of psycho eats cereal in the dark?"

"A cereal killer" she replied.

I have taught her well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TriggerHippie77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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I once met a wizard who threw a ball of darkness at me.

I hate it when people throw shade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danda1f
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Aloe darkness...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iced2313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said β€œI’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said β€œWhat are you going to do now?” ...

β€œOh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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It came to me in an hour of darkness
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jrum7000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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What did God say after he separated the light from the darkness?

I think I'll call it a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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I was taking my kids trick or treating along a dark country road, on a moonless Halloween night, when all of a sudden, a vampire swooped down from the darkness and landed right in front of us!

My daughter shrieked,"Quick dad, show him your cross!"

Without a second thought, I shouted, "YOU LEAVE US ALONE YOU BIG MEAN OLD VAMPIRE!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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In the grim darkness of the far future, there are only dad jokes.

What is yellow, sour and fights for the Emperor?

A Lemon Russ!

What body of water has the taint of chaos?

The Hera-sea!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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Why is Dark spelled with a β€˜K’ and not a β€˜C’?

Because you can’t β€˜C’ in the dark

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πŸ‘€︎ u/streety22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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what happens when a dad joke is too dark and edgy for this subreddit!

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NearDead-Star
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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A curious child asked her mom, "why are you starting to get some grey hairs in with all your dark hair?"

Seizing this as a moral teaching moment she tells her daughter this little white lie, "Well young lady, when a daughter does something naughty, one of her mother's hairs turns grey."

After several moments of deep thought her daughter says to her mother, "So, mommy is that why all of grandma's hair is grey????"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Finally learnt how to separate my washing into lights and darks...

Turns out there can be a bit of a grey area

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat_mummy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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I wanted to go with my mom when she walked her three dogs after dark.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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After we awoke, my wife told me to put the dark roast on.

I told her that burning meat was a sin. When I came to she had moooooved out.

  • sips coffee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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β€ͺWhy can’t 2021 take a picture in the dark

because it doesn’t have flash

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZETA_RETICULI_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Oof, too dark?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nakikibaka
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I always said that I would never ever go walking the dark scary tunnels in the earth.

But eventually I caved.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheppo42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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Did you hear about the new dark and gritty direction Disney are taking?

Donald Duck will be playing a quack addict.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubdrummerz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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I fell down a really deep dark hole today.

I couldn't see that well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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I avoid bike trails after dark.

They're full of cycle paths.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UserCheckNamesOut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firestrike007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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A shot in the dark
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

Because light attracts bugs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbolgiano
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?

A Navy Seal!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

(credit: Groucho Marx)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4-8Newday
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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what did the lumberjack do when it got dark?

He took his axe and saw.

Edit: spelling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karl_oskar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Dark jokes my 10 year old hit me with part 2: penguins are alot like kids

Both can fly if you throw them hard enough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerJoe85
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Man I hate dark humour

I can't really see what's so funny about it.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?

Because it was the time of knights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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my son introduced me to dark humor the other day, i don't know why they call it "dark humor"

because they lighten me up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenPhoenix14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Why was the director unhappy with the close-ups in the Dark Knight trilogy?

All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTattedspyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Simple solution to my fear of the dark

I just close my eyes and pretend it's not there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vrrrmmmm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I've just discovered the Cantonese culture of doing maths in a dark room at breakfast

Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrubb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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It would’ve been really dark if, when Snape was dying, Harry had said β€œnow you’re really the half-blood prince”.

Because he only had half his blood left

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wnlm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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My wife told me it's too dangerous to put away dishes in the dark

I said "it's a whisk I'm willing to take"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrightHausJon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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A True Dark Horse Candidate [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChumpsLand
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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People can take a dark joke too far...

...but a dad joke is farther!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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What did God do after creating a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth?

He called it a day.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, β€œwhat are you going to do now?”

God said, β€œI think I’m going to call it a day.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Why is dark spelled with a K?

Because you can't c in the dark.

πŸ‘︎ 573
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qarasaq
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Why is dark written with a K not a C?

Because you can't C in the dark

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Mechatronix
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because you can't C in the dark

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pspspspspsspspsss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because then it would be "darc"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vilateral
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Why do you spell dark with a k and not a c?

Because you can't see in the dark

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πŸ‘€︎ u/apapipay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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