What did God do after creating a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth?
In the darkness...
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
I walked downstairs to find my daughter eating cereal in complete darkness
I asked her, "What kind of psycho eats cereal in the dark?"
"A cereal killer" she replied.
I have taught her well.
I once met a wizard who threw a ball of darkness at me.
I hate it when people throw shade.
So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said “I’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said “What are you going to do now?” ...
“Oh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.
It came to me in an hour of darkness
What did God say after he separated the light from the darkness?
I think I'll call it a day.
I was taking my kids trick or treating along a dark country road, on a moonless Halloween night, when all of a sudden, a vampire swooped down from the darkness and landed right in front of us!
My daughter shrieked,"Quick dad, show him your cross!"
Without a second thought, I shouted, "YOU LEAVE US ALONE YOU BIG MEAN OLD VAMPIRE!!"
In the grim darkness of the far future, there are only dad jokes.
What is yellow, sour and fights for the Emperor?
A Lemon Russ!
What body of water has the taint of chaos?
The Hera-sea!
Why is dark spelled with a K?
Because you can't c in the dark.
I always said that I would never ever go walking the dark scary tunnels in the earth.
Why can’t 2021 take a picture in the dark
because it doesn’t have flash
Did you hear about the new dark and gritty direction Disney are taking?
Donald Duck will be playing a quack addict.
I avoid bike trails after dark.
They're full of cycle paths.
I fell down a really deep dark hole today.
I couldn't see that well.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?
what did the lumberjack do when it got dark?
He took his axe and saw.
Edit: spelling.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Dark jokes my 10 year old hit me with part 2: penguins are alot like kids
Both can fly if you throw them hard enough
my son introduced me to dark humor the other day, i don't know why they call it "dark humor"
because they lighten me up
Man I hate dark humour
I can't really see what's so funny about it.
Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?
Because it was the time of knights.
Why was the director unhappy with the close-ups in the Dark Knight trilogy?
All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.
Simple solution to my fear of the dark
I just close my eyes and pretend it's not there
It would’ve been really dark if, when Snape was dying, Harry had said “now you’re really the half-blood prince”.
Because he only had half his blood left
I've just discovered the Cantonese culture of doing maths in a dark room at breakfast
Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning
People can take a dark joke too far...
...but a dad joke is farther!
A True Dark Horse Candidate [OC]
My wife told me it's too dangerous to put away dishes in the dark
I said "it's a whisk I'm willing to take"
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
What did Scooby Doo say when he met Rick Astley in a dark alley?
Imagine you're in a pitch dark room and you have no idea how to escape.
Murderer jokes are very dark
But sometimes they kill the audience
Best and worst death ? /!\ dark humor
« What is the best death according to you ?
-
I think the best way to go is to die like my grandfather... he fell asleep and never woke up.
-
Dying in your sleep is indeed said to be the best way to go. So what do you consider the worst way to die ?
-
Like my grandfather’s friends.
-Why ? How did they die ?
-They were in the car when Grandpa fell asleep. »
My wife hates when she takes off her dark socks and has fuzz between her toes.
She's black toes intolerant.
The trees around the house are starting to bud. I said to my wife, "Honey, do you know what happens when the trees leaf out?"
A look of hopeful curiosity washed over her as she fell into my trap. "No, what?"
"Very SHADY things."
It must've reminded her that she had something else to do that was very important.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, “what are you going to do now?”
God said, “I think I’m going to call it a day.”
Why is dark written with a K not a C?
Because you can't C in the dark
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't C in the dark
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because then it would be "darc"
Why do you spell dark with a k and not a c?
Because you can't see in the dark
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