I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Here we are at post number 75 - so you know it’s time to focus on a great band.
They are iconic. They embody the Seattle sound. They are the Grateful Dead of this generation. They are one of the best selling bands of all time. They are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Their fans are unbelievable. Their live performances are the stuff of legend.
You know them. You love them.
This week we look at PEARL JAM.
About them
Guitarist Stone Gossard and bassist Jeff Ament were both in the band Green River. They were then both in Malfunkshun and Mother Love Bone. Those last two bands were fronted by Andy Wood, the one time roommate of Chris Cornell. Just when Mother Love Bone were on the cusp of success with a major label signing, Wood overdosed on heroin and passed away.
We know that the Seattle scene was an intimate one. Everyone knew everyone else. It’s been said that most of the audiences in those early Seattle shows were from other bands. Stone Gossard saw guitarist and old high school friend Mike McCready at a concert and decided that they should work together.
Gossard, McCready, and Ament started workshopping songs. They put together a demo tape and wanted to find themselves a drummer and a vocalist.
This demo tape was shared with Jack Irons. Irons had been the drummer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Gossard, Ament, and McCready hoped to recruit him to be their kit man. Irons declined the offer (this time) - but he knew a vocalist that the boys would be interested in.
Vedder, who is now synonymous with Seattle, is actually from San Diego.
After listening to the demos, Vedder did what all the cool kids from San Diego do. No, he didn’t play the flute or go to the zoo. He went surfing.
Legend has it that while he was out riding the waves, the lyri
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Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
Please help me find something funny to read that is not on every "top 100 funny books to read" list! I'm desperate. I somehow accidentally read 25 dour, tragic, serious books in a row this year and I need something a little lighter that won't also feel like a waste of time.
Stuff that usually gets recommended that I have already read and loved:
Catch-22 [This is the gold standard of American comedy for me]
Everything by P.G. Wodehouse [and this is my gold standard of English comedy]
The Hottest Dishes of the Tartar Cuisine by Alina Bronsky [I would be especially interested in other books that are about, or written by, people who are not from the USA or England, like this one]
Everything by David Sedaris
Everything by Kurt Vonnegut
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series
Good Omens and other Terry Pratchett books
The Princess Bride by William Goldman
In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson
The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
Three Men in a Boat by J. K. Jerome
Running with Scissors/Dry by Augusten Burroughs
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
I never see these recommended and I loved or liked them a lot:
Treasure Island!!! By Sarah Levine [A top example of 21st century comedy]
Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis [A top example of 20th century comedy]
The Rose and the Ring by William Makepeace Thackeray [A top example of 19th century comedy]
Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris
Hotels of North America by Rick Moody
Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher
Why Are You So Sad? By Jason Porter
The Basic Eight by Daniel Handler
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bible! by Jonathan Goldstein
A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again by David Foster Wallace
The Asterix comics
Stuff that usually gets recommended that I have read and thought were fine, but wouldn’t necessarily seek more of:
Allie Brosh’s stuff
Hark! A Vagrant
I am America! (And So Can You) by Stephen Colbert
The Night Vale books
John Dies at the End by David Wong
Christopher Moore’s books
Everything else by Bill Bryson
Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss
Stuff that usually gets recommended that I didn’t care for:
Anything by Chuck Palahniuk
Anything by Thomas Pynchon
Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The Dresden Files series
The Martian by Andy Weir
Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern
Most celebrity comedian me
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[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
UPDATE: I made a correct to the North & Sea Ward price premium, per Ed Greenwood's comments. And he confirmed the reason that Volo gave Trollskull Manor away (stated below), is indeed correct.
I've gotten *really* into Waterdeep lore of late in preparation for running the Waterdeep: Dragonheist book. So much of the central theme of the adventure is about money, that I wanted to really explore the lack of money for most of its citizens. I crunched some numbers here in wages, and costs, etc.
But then you get into real estate, especially because Volo gives away a building - something of significant value, almost on a whim. There's an archived thread that I'm basing some of the following off of (https://www.reddit.com/r/WaterdeepDragonHeist/comments/auf6p9/waterdeep_real_estate/).
So what's the value of Waterdeep real estate?
The 5e DMG (p. 128) isn't a ton of help here, but they do call out the following:
- Noble estate with manor: 25,000 gp & 150 days to build
- Guildhall: 5,000 gp & 60 days to build
The 4e rules, shared in the original thread are as follows:
- Single story wooden house (~3 rooms) 1,000 gp
- Two story wooden building 1,500 gp (30x40 ft)
- Stone building 3,000 gp (30x40 ft)
- Tower 10,000 gp
- Mansion 40,000 gp
- Keep 75,000 gp
- Palace 175,000 gp
- Castle 250,000 gp
Waterdeep is expensive
If we take these prices, we could actually reverse engineer given all the costs given in the awesome/exhaustive detail provided in some of the older supplements. For example, if a building is going to have a cellar dug, or connection to the sewer, the The Cellarers' and Plumbers' Guild charges:
...2 gold pieces per man per day or part of a day (most crews are two or three men in size) plus materials, and a "crew head" (food and drink retainer) of 10 gold pieces per day or part of a day. [Waterdeep City of Splendors (2e), pp. 39]
That would land us at 16 gold pieces per day for a decent size project, which could easily carry on for several tendays.
...but let's not get mired in the details. ;-). To simplify things, I would rule that any real estate purchased or built in Waterdeep would cost x2 the standard amounts. Meaning a noble estate would cost 50,000 gp (or
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Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
There hasn't been a post all year!
