Or what I like to call COVID.
She said, "Where are my keys? I'm leaving!"
I said, "I don't know."
everyone says look at that little "S" car go!
They called it "Snitches get stitches"
Because he never cooperates.
because one good tern deserves another.
They charged one and let the other one off.
But they're out of "The Shallows" now
I guess you could call him Bradley Blooper
A Minnie van.
A group of fifth graders are visiting our school he asks the kids "Hey did Mr. O(5th grade music teacher) ever tell you we went to college. It was me him and Abraham Lincoln in class"
One of his favorites "What side of the dog has the most fur?" "The Outside"
Whenever a kid asks "Can I go to the bathroom?" He always answers with "Only a Dr. Can tell you that." He does is so much that when A child says may I go to the bathroom he still does it without thinking. Most students stopped asking to go to the bathroom or ask me.
Its been a great few months of these, I'll add more to the comments as I think of them.
The policeman was trying to put his young son down for a nap, but the boy wasn't cooperating.
"Do I need to call for backup?" the dad asked. "'Cuz it seems you're resisting a rest!"
"In honor of this celebration, I'd like to quote the late 20th century philosopher A. Cooper:
School...is out... For summer.
School...is out... Forever.
Let's reflect on these words in our moments together today. Thank you."
One of the French outposts refused to cooperate with the others.
It was the rogue fort.
My son and I do a cooperative pre-k. There's a class of 8 kids and two parents rotate every 4 weeks to help. Yesterday was my day.
We're doing a craft with glue and my son got some glue on my shirt.
> Pre-K teacher: Oh look, nyran20 and his son are bonding!
Wife was making some Greek sandwiches for lunch today and the pita bread wasn't cooperating.
Wife: "This pita bread is terrible."
Me: "Yup, it's awfully pita-ful."
Wife sighs.
Me: "What? That was awesome!"
me: I accidentally added Poison by Alice Cooper to my Christian playlist...I'm dying
him: Poison will do that to you.
Vladimir eating a bean burrito.
Facepalm dad.
He also had one and I will quote:
"What do Dateline, Anderson Cooper 360 & 20/20 have in common?"
"I don't know dad. Can we just have lunch?"
"The first two are news shows and the third is what your mother drank for breakfast....Get it? Like MadDog 20/20."
Then, arm to God, he went
