Continuation Puns

Still No Idea

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing it just waved.

Did you sea what I did there?

Aw come on, I'm shore you laughed at that one.

I promise you there's nothing fishy going on here.

I hope my puns meet up to your scales.

I said that’s not nececelery true.

Because it's a habit.

It Netherlands!

Are a gluten for punishment.

We just finishing applying the mortar to the tub surround and adding the tiles. While we were cleaning up, she was complaining about all the mortar dust getting in her feet. I asked her how it got there and she replied that it’s all over the floor. “You walked in it?”, I said and she nodded. I replied with, “one does not simply walk into mortar.” I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.

"I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence!"

She called it with mine and could faintly hear it but took her a minute to find. I asked where it was and she said it was under her duffel bag. I said “more like muffle bag.”

Longest silence and longest continuous eye contact ever recorded in our relationship.

The authorities say they've never seen such wonton destruction.

Number 1:

He had no common scents

She was sentenced to death.

He said at the food court.

It's a trap.

I'm a son without a father... I lost him a few days ago to a heart attack and I just... can't stop crying

We both used to check out this sub daily for amazing dad jokes and laugh at them together... We'd try to form our own stupid stuff

I used to wake up for college early in the morning I'd cook some breakfast for him get ready and before leaving I'd wake him up and tell him a stupid dad joke... I'd want to see him start his day with a smile

I just want to thank you all in this sub for giving me and my dad happiness your jokes made us laugh at our worst times

Out of habit I keep getting up to go to his room with a dad joke... Only to see it empty

I'm never gonna get to mess around with my dad again... I'm never going to hang out with him again he's not going to be there to see me grow up and buy a house of my own ... He's not going to see me buy a car of own ... He's not going to see me get married... He's gone forever and I will never get to start my day with a smile again from a silly dad joke with him

He wasn't the greatest dad but he certainly was the best I could ever ask for ... I will miss you dad

Thank you r/dadjokes to all the amazing dads here and their funny and stupid jokes

Edit : thank you so much dad's for your overwhelming support I love you guys and I just want to take a moment to thank all the people here who shared their experiences as well of having lost a parent... Your story inspires me to continue forward with the torch

Also I'm seeing quite a few comments saying the post is not funny and that they came for a laugh... I'm truly sorry about that, I just really wanted to honor my dad in this sub since we spent so much time together here scrolling for jokes and I needed the push from you dads to get back on my feet

I'm never going to be the same that's for sure knowing a peice of me has been lost forever... The void will never be filled in my heart But your support is just what I needed, once again thank you dads I love you

Edit 2: thank you so much dads for your overwhelming support I know I haven't been able to respond to all the dms and messages here but I've been reading them all and it's just made me smile in the worst Thank you dads you guys are the best

I was supposed to teach the kids what sine divided by cosine was, but I kept going off on a tangent.

Because it had too many problems.

Im like-toes intolerant.

Knock knock

Tooth or Consequences.

How else would you get a number 2 pencil.

He became a Toddler.

You ground him until he conducts himself properly.

And that number skyrockets when you also count those who are at their job right now.

Every play has a cast.

For more info, google recootment.

Waiting for dad to get back so we can continue this joke

They curse and recurse at them.

So there's a farmer relaxing on his porch one evening, watching the road in front of his house. A little bunny rabbit hops out of the woods onto the road, just sniffing around.

Well all of a sudden a bright red convertible roars up. There's no time for the rabbit to doge, and the convertible squashes it into a roadkill pancake!

The convertible screeches to a halt down the road a bit, and out hops a blonde. She dances wildly around the bunny's corpse saying things like "oh my gosh" and "I think I killed it" and "I hope this doesn't go on my insurance", then she runs back to her car and grabs a spray can of something and starts going to town with it on the rabbit. I mean this pancake bunnyrabbit corpse is simply soaked in whatever she's spraying it with. She empties the entire can, throws it on the side of the road and runs back to her car.

After she peels out, there's a pause, and then the rabbit comes back to life! It reinflates, hops up and looks around, dazed, and then it waves at the farmer!! It hops down the road a little, turns back, and waves again! This continues until it's out of sight.

Well the farmer is understandably flabbergasted, so he runs over to where there had just been a rabbit pancake to look at what was in the can.

He picks it up, and reads it. It says "Hare restorer and permanent wave."

"I guess that’s what we get for buying a pure bread dog!"

"It’s cutting hedge technology!"

They interrogated him on the number of soldiers in his unit. He lied and said 1. They continued to interrogate him and he again said 1. He later changed his answer to 2, then 3, then 5, then 8, then 13, then 21, and so on. Anyway, long story short, that's where we get the Fibonacci sequence.

But I haven't Reddit yet.

"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"

The punchline is: “Yeah, but Dad, they do.” Need a reason Fred Flintstone would tell his dad this sentence.

Example: What did FF say to his dad when his dad told him “__”? Answer: “Yeah, but Dad, they do.”

I am not a dad. I am a daughter. For longer than I can remember, I have called my dad at "too early" times in the morning, woke him up, and told him a joke. This was a daily occurrence. Hence how I found this sub.

My dad died on Monday. You guys helped me wake him up with laughter so many times and I got to hear him laugh every day. Thank you r/dadjokes.

Edit: spelling

Wow I really did not expect so many people to see this post or to take the time to comment and reach out to me. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and kind words. It really means a lot. This is a great community and I'm so glad to have found it. As a mom to two beautiful little jokesters, I will absolutely continue pestering them with daily jokes and keep the tradition and the laughter alive.

For those asking, his favorite jokes were the really long ones that took forever to tell and had bad/ the best punchlines. The one that immediately sticks out was posted here either Sunday or Monday and was the last one I got to tell him. I will see if I can find it and figure out how to link. It was about a farmer who really loved tractors.

Thank you to the kind redditors who found it for me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/slwg7y/bit_of_a_story_to_this_one_but_well_worth_the_read/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

would it be correct to call him the Heir o' Smith?

Windshield vipers!

I’m sure they aren’t Trudeau.

"It’s cutting hedge technology!"