Computer (occupation) Puns

When asked his occupation, Sven answered, "Knicker Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers" The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labor, he awarded him $80 a week unemployment compensation.

Ole was called in next and when asked his occupation he replied, "Diesel Fitter." Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk awarded Ole $160 a week in unemployment compensation.

Sven was FURIOUS when he found out what Ole was awarded. So he stormed back into the office demanding to know why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, "Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor." "UFF-DAH!!! What skill?" yelled Sven. "I sew da elastic on da knickers, then Ole puts 'em over his head and says, "Yep, diesel fitter."

Hello fathers and fellow lovers of dadjokes! I am in need of your collective wit. You see, my friends did not get the hint that it was a bad idea to do this last time, and yet have foolishly asked me to house sit for them again. I've decided to prank them again (because I'm a wonderful friend), and this time I am turning their house into a house of puns. I need puns I can practically make. Here are a couple examples:

"While you guys were out I think your milk went bad..." draw on milk carton a bandanna, scruff, and a gun tucked into its logo

Move any of their jars in front of their bedroom door.

A map starting from their router.

Things like that. They have a pool, two labs, but otherwise have a pretty standard living arrangement. However, I don't want to mess with their computers as their occupations have some sensitive materials on them.

I struggled with what sub to reach out too with this post, so thank you all who reddit. You're fantastic folk, the lot of you!