Israel Lyons Puns

January 15th

Europe

Premier league (England)

Christian Pulisic (Chelsea) Started at RAM and played 68‘ in a 1-0 Loss at Manchester City (6.4/6.26) 16/19 passing, 0/1 accurate cross, 1 key pass, 26 touches, 1/2 duels won, 1/1 successful dribble, 1 time dispossessed, 1 recovery Match Highlights

Josh Sargent (Norwich City) Started at RW and played 86‘ in a 2-1 Win against Everton. Picked up a yellow in the 50th’ (6.3/6.34) 0/2 shots on target, 17/26 passing, 0/1 accurate cross, 43 touches, 3/12 duels won, 2 clearances, 0/2 successful dribbles, 2 times dispossessed, 1 foul, 3/6 aerials won, 1 interception, 3 recoveries Match Highlights

Championship

Antonee Robinson (Fulham) Started at LB and went the full 90’ in a 6-2 Win against Bristol City (7.1/7.02) 45/52 passing, 2/5 accurate crosses, 3/3 accurate long balls, 1 key pass, 72 touches, 4/5 duels won, 2/3 successful dribbles, 1 time fouled, 1/1 aerial won, 1 interception, 4 recoveries Match Highlights

Tim Ream (Fulham) Started at LCB and went the full 90’ in a 6-2 Win against Bristol City. Assisted on the game winner in the 36th’ (7.5/6.93) *42/50 passing, 5/8 accurate long balls, 1 key pass, 54 touches, 4/7 duels won, 2 clearances, 1/1 successful

Obviously this is a huge topic on the sub right now, and rightfully so. I think everyone rightly recognizes that this will have an effect on international rugby in at least the short term. However, even though I think most of us have the big names who could potentially switch, I wanted to put this together in order to have a more comprehensive picture of who could be an option for the Pacific Island Nations

A couple notes on the list

1. This only covers Fiji, Samoa, and Tonga. So while there are a couple of players eligible for other island nations (most notably the Cook Islands), they are not mentioned here
2. This list is for players who will be eligible in time for the start of the 2023 World Cup only (September 8). So there is no Ngani Laumape, Vunipola brothers, Peter Umaga-Jensen, etc. It is also simply every active player I could identify that could make the switch from teams above Samoa/Tonga/Fiji in the world rankings, making no judgement as to whether those players would actually be wanted by their Island
3. These players were taken from ESPN's lists of capped players for each national team (ordered by date of cap by original team), which I have linked. For players who will able to apply to switch the date the rule comes into effect (Jan. 1, 2022), I have listed them as eligible. For players able to switch after that date, I have the date listed they will be able to provided they are not capped again by that date. And because I'm a complete amateur when it comes to capture rules I've just stuck to official caps
4. For players who qualify for an island through heritage (this mainly applies to Wallabies and All Blacks), I've tried to find and link a source other than Wikipedia with some reference to that heritage. Players who were actually born on the island they can qualify for I have generally contented myself with their Wikipedia page
5. The age of each player is what is today, not what it will be during the world cup. The positions are almost certainly not authoritative as well, but I felt it useful to give a general indication of where the players could be filling in should they join their island
6. I am absolutely certain I've made a ton of mistakes. I browsed through to 2007 (other than players I know are still around like Afoa/Nonu) in order to hopefully find absolutely everyone who could be affected so I'm sure I've missed players. In particular, if the name doesn't jump out as notably Pacific Island in origin I'm very likely to miss

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

This is my first topic starter on any Reddit board. I compiled a list of teams I consider to be each side in the NRL's best 17 over that period of time. I'm asking if there should be any changes to any of the teams and who would win a fictional competition? Who would play in a Grand Final ? or even a top 8 if you wanted, I have gone on a merit-based system so Thurston doesn't make the dogs' team over Sherwin etc.

Brisbane Broncos

1. Darius Boyd

2. Lote Tuqiri

3. Justin Hodges

4. Israel Folau

5. Wendall Sailor

6. Darren Lockyer

7. Kevin Walters

8. Shane Webcke

9. Shaun Berrigan

10. Petero Civoniceva

11. Gorden Tallis

12. Sam Thaiday

13. Tonie Carroll

14. Karmichael Hunt

15. Payne Haas

16. Corey Parker

17. Brad Thorn

Canberra Raiders

1. Clinton Schifkofske

2. Jordan Rapana

3. Jarrod Croker

4. Joel Monaghan

5. Blake Ferguson

6. Jack Wighton

7. George Williams

8. Josh Papalii

9. Josh Hodgson

10. Ruben Wiki

11. Elliott Whitehead

12. Josh Bateman

13. Jason Croker

14. Mark McLinden

15. Luke Davico

16. David Shillington

17. Alan Tongue

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs

1. Luke Patten

2. Hazem El-Masri

3. Nigel Vagana

4. Josh Morris

5. Matt Utai

6. Braith Anasta

7. Brent Sherwin

8. James Graham

9. Michael Ennis

10. Steve Price

11. Willie Mason

12. Andrew Ryan

13. Sonny-Bill Williams

14. Ben Barba

15. Mark O'Meley

16. Josh Jackson

17. Roy Asotasi

Cronulla Sharks

1. David Peachey

2. Mat Rogers

3. Jack Bird

4. Chris McKenna

5. Valentine Holmes

6. James Maloney

7. Brett Kimmorley

8. Jason Stevens

9. Michael Ennis

10. Andrew Fifita

11. Luke Lewis

12. Wade Graham

13. Paul Gallen

14. Preston Campbell

15. Matt Prior

16. Jayson Bukuya

17. Greg Bird

Gold Coast Titans

1. Will Zillman

2. Kevin Gordon

3. Mat Rogers

4. Brian Kelly

5. Anthony Don

6. AJ Brimson

7. Scott Prince

8. Luke Bailey

9. Nathan Friend

10. Ryan James

11. Nate Myles

12. David Fifita

13. Greg Bird

14. Preston Campbell

15. Anthony Laffranchi

16. Mark Minichello

17. Ashley Harrison

Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

1. Brett Stewart

2. Tom Trbojevic

3. Steve Matai

4. Jamie Lyon

5. Rueben Garrick

6. Kieran Foran

7. Daly Cherry-Evans

8. Brent Kite

9. Matt Ballin

10. Addin Fonua-Blake

11. Glenn Stewart

12. Jack Trbojevic

13. Ben Kennedy

14. Michael Monaghan

15. Martin Taupau

16. Antony Watmough

17. Steve Menzies

Melbourne Storm

1. Billy Slater

2. Josh Addo-Carr

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Α win at the death for Olympiakos guarantees a 2nd place EL finish and with it we move to 15th place, but its getting as tight as ever around us.

Israel is removed from the reports

Points Awarded per outcome

Win: +0.500 points

Draw: +0.250 points

Group Bonus Points

Winner of EL Group: 1.000 bonus points (0.800 for 5 team countries + 0.250 for making the Round of 16 automatically (0.200 for 5 team countries) = 1.250 bonus points (+1.000 for 5 team countries)

2nd in EL Group: 0.500 bonus points (0.400 for 5 team countries)

Winner of ECL Group: 0.500 bonus points (0.400 for 5 team countries)

2nd in ECL Group: 0.250 bonus points (0.200 for 5 team countries)

Champions League

Besiktas (TUR) 1-2 Ajax

Europa League

Galatasaray (TUR) 4-2 Marseille

Midtjylland (DEN) 3-2 Braga

Dinamo Zagreb (CRO) 1-1 Genk

Brondby (DEN) 1-3 Lyon

Rangers 2-0 Sparta Prague (CZE)

Olympiakos (GRE) 1-0 Fenerbahce (TUR)

Conference League

Slavia Prague (CZE) 2-2 Feyenoord

Lincoln Red Imps 0-4 Copenhagen (DEN)

Maccabi Haifa (ISR) 0-1 Union Berlin

Slovan Bratislava 0-0 PAOK (GRE)

Qarabag 2-2 Omonoia (CYP)

Jablonec (CZE) 1-1 AZ

Maccabi Tel Aviv (ISR) 0-1 LASK

Anorthosi (CYP) 1-0 Gent

Bodo/Glimt (NOR) 2-0 CSKA Sofia

Randers (DEN) 2-1 Cluj

Current Rankings

Lots of moves this time around

We are up to 15th place! Only just, 0.050 points seperating us from Turkey.

Turkey manage to do decent and move up to 16th

Cyprus annoyingly win to stay close to us, but thats probably the end of the road for them

Denmark, the ones we have been warning about since the start of the season, are finally here. Monster round with bonus points, to me they're favourites to finish 15th.

Croatia fall down to 19th, they only have Dinamo Zagreb it was always going to be hard to keep up

Czech Republic also fall 4 places down to 20th, a reminder of what can happen to us.

Norway manage yet another win, to stay within a fair distance.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

Moin zur neusten Ausgabe des r/de Restaurantführers!
die Spielregeln sind wie folgt: Kommentare erster Ebene nennen eine Stadt, die Antworten darauf geben Tips, wo in dieser Stadt lecker gegessen werden kann.
Historie bisher: 2020, 2019, 2018 von u/ShyfterEU

zur besseren Übersicht die bereits genannten Städte nach Land sortiert:
(Städte ohne Tips sind mit ❌ gekennzeichnet)

🇧🇪 Belgien
Brügge
Kortrijk ❌

🇩🇰 Dänemark
Westjütland

🇫🇮 Finnland
Helsinki
Oulu

🇫🇷 Frankreich
Lyon
Paris
Straßburg

🇬🇷 Griechenland
Insel Naxos
Insel Rhodos
Thessaloniki

🇮🇸 Island
generell, ganzes Land

🇮🇹 Italien
Catania
Comer See
Florenz
Lucca
Rom
Venedig

🇭🇷 Kroatien
generell, ganzes Land

🇱🇻 Lettland
Riga

🇱🇺 Luxemburg
Luxemburg

🇲🇹 Malta
Valletta (+ generell, ganzes Land

🇳🇱 Niederlande
Amsterdam
Breukelen ❌
Ede
Maastricht
[Wageningen](https://reddit.com/r/de/comment