In the store I saw some brightly coloured greeting cards that said, "I will always love only you "

They sold them in packs of 12.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Every time my wife gets her hair coloured at the hairdresser’s, she records it on her phone.

I think she watches the highlights later.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Coloured my "Hippopottymouth" pun
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CluKInCok
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend and I got kicked out of a NBA game because we went dressed in brightly coloured chicken suits.

Two flagrant fowls means an automatic ejection.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My son said he coloured himself with a highlighter pen from the neck upwards during work today.

I think it's a bold-faced lie.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
The horse breeder always found it easier to sell brightly-coloured horses than pale ones

Two reds are better than dun

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Friend posted a picture of a coloured bird and some black birds under her feeder

http://imgur.com/0O0xg4M

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogy650
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2014
🚨︎ report
I found a brightly coloured feather on the ground, picked it up and put it in my hat band and said "Hey, do you guys know what this is?" "No, what?"

"Macaroni."

Groans all around.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agoatforavillage
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad on coloured hair

We were watching TV, and a girl with purple hair appears.

Dad:" If I had that hair colour, I would paint it"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gustacho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Some colourful puns
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonedwoodsy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Help needed for a colour pun

I'm currently developing a game for my studies based on the old windows Game Pipe Dream (or Pipe Mania). It is two player and competitive where each player works for one of two rival companies. The game has a steampunk theme and each company is represented by a different colour. Green is Greenpunk Industries. I need your help, pun masters of reddit, in coming up with a pun for the Blue company.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimeTraveller264
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
🚨︎ report
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes when they die.

Cyan-aura.

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a cat's favourite colour?

Purr-ple.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who makes comics out of tiny colourful plastic discs?

He is a sequintial artist.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jedd-the-Jedi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My least favourite colour is purple

I hate it more than blue and red combined

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hercules_ZH
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.

I told them they were being gracist.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uhh-Whatever
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If a speck of colour on your clothes is called a stain,

Is paintball a form of Enterstainment?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nimmalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Just some jokes about colours

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

  • a carrot

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

  • dung

What’s green and smells like red paint?

  • green paint

Whats red and bad for your teeth

  • a brick

I was diagnosed with colour blindness today,

  • I tell you, that came right out of the purple.

Colours making a phone call... Green green, green green....Yellow!

What colour is the wind

  • blew

What’s grey and can’t fly

  • a car park
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djgw88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s an angry dads favourite colour?

YELLow

yeah this is a shitty joke sorry

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahumanthatisdeded
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Some colourful language right here
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hainutu_Camasaru
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
You know that theory about no two people see colours exactly the same way...

Surely it's a pigment of their imagination ?

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I just went the doctors, turns out I’m colourblind

The results came completely out of the purple!

πŸ‘︎ 400
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Jesus was an automobile enthusiast and had a car he really loved. Everytime Jesus went to visit his parents, he would return with his car sporting a new colour

His father was a Carpainter

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AccidentalPundit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the colour blind man sell ice cream?

His cones don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Still on colours.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Colour me surprised.
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Man looks everywhere for his colourful tie when his wife tells him "I'm afraid you can't wear it anymore". "Why?"

Tie died.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinzll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œMr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Do you want to colour your hair?”

Bond: No time to Dye. Dye another day.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
"I was teaching my son colours while I drove him to school."

"Primary?"
"No, he's in college."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What colour is a bear's socks?

They don't wear socks.

They have bear feet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My colour blind friend told me there were only two kinds of people in the world.

I told him to stop seeing things in black and white.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What colour's the wind?

Blue

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tommosx56
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's blue in colour and not heavy?

Light Blue

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadushka008
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What colour is an instruction to cry out in pain?

Yell "ow"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom.

Until they are flashing behind you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
3 yr old grandson says, "Papa, where's my sword?"

Papa, "What colour is it?"

3 yr old, "Blue."

Papa, "Where did you see it last?"

3 yr old: "In my hand."

Endless entertainment!

Edit: formatting

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UhmBah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend, Hugh, asked me if I was colour-blind.

"Where are you?" I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Actual dad joke I heard in the supermarket

A dad was with his daughter and she was looking for hair dye and he said... "Don't get that red colour you got last time, it made you a transginger"

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Credit goes to Puns on Facebook. I am partly colour blind and this is f’in funny!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Good_Alibi
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
The problem with racial jokes...

...is that they're so off-colour.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
While my kids were colouring with markers I fell asleep on the couch. The little buggers thought it would be funny to draw all over my face to make me look like "the devil". I woke up and went to the grocery store to do our weekly shopping & didn't realise what had happened until I got home.

Boy, was my face red!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What colour screams hello?

Yellow!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The local motorway has become blocked after a lorry shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes to cyan before they die.

Cyan-aura.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes to cyan before they die.

Cyan-aura.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?

Janes Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What color is the wind??

Blew!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ab1113
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
It is said no two people see a colour the same

It's al just a pigment of your imagination

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vico__Staps
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?

James Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Purple is my favorite colour!

I like it more than blue and red combined.

πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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