Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?

He was just arrested for Petty theft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aloiciousss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I have a compulsive habit of obliterating album CD's of classic hard rock bands

You could say I've got an appetite for destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinoxal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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What's a mathematician's favorite classic rock song?

Carry On My Wayward Sum

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndemerson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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What classic rock band do only white people like?

The Police.

πŸ‘︎ 333
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fellow_hiccupper
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2017
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[Request] Tubas and Classic Rock

Every year for the past few years, I’ve written music for a tuba ensemble for a summer band camp. Last year’s music was titled β€œTubaChristmas in July,” which had β€œHallelujah” by Pentatonix, β€œCarol of the Bells,” β€œYou’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and β€œHave Yourself a Merry TubaChristmas.” This year I’m about 90% sure we’re doing rock/classic rock. So far I have β€œBohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, β€œPaint It, Black” by The Rolling Stones, β€œLivin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi, β€œDon’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and some fifth song I haven’t chosen yet (BTW I’m open to song ideas).

I need a pun that mixes Tuba with Rock or with Classic Rock. Similar to how TubaChristmas in July doesn’t include song names, but you know it’s Christmas music on tubas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Leo_1110
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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I want to start a business similar to an ice cream truck, except we sell baked treats and play classic rock'n'roll music...

I'll call it The Rolling Scones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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What do you call a plumber in a classic rock band?

Mario Speedwagon

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aardwolf7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
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What's a vampire's favorite classic rock band?

The Bleedles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peckerbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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What a sad time for classic rock

Trump won't let Foreigner in the country

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Midnight-Runner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2016
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What do you call a singing computer?

A Dell

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trick2Gesus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2016
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Dadjoked my wife and the nurse moments before my daughter was born

My wife and I welcomed our new daughter this week. The wife wanted some classic rock while she was pushing. We were all there, the doctor, the main nurse (with whom we were joking all day long) and a few other nurses. This was the moment of truth.

Suddenly, the Scorpions' "Rock you like a hurricane" comes on, and my wife exclaims: "This is exactly what I need to pump me up!! She is going to be a Scorpion!"

To which I replied "Actually, she'll be a Sagittarius"

The nurse looked at me surprised, cracked up, the wife rolled her eyes, and a few breaths later my daughter was born.

I have never been prouder to be a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mirkules
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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Got my friend today

We were touring a college and walked by the geology room, it had a bunch of rocks on display.

I muttered "I bet this class rocks"

After we laugh and he punches me, I say "Aw cmon that ones a classic"

He agrees

Then I say "Yeah it was a real gem"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wootiown
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2017
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Guess who?

In the car my dad and I were listening to a classic rock station, and he asked me to guess who was playing on the station, I said I don't know, and he replied "Guess Who?" I took this as an invitation to guess, but I really had no clue. This continued for a good 20 minutes before he finally got tired of it and told me the band was The Guess Who.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boblikespie1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2014
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Come on, step right up, and Guess Who Tim Horton Hears! Tim Horton's Hears A Who? Oh, I'm sorry, but you're wrong.

Tim Horton's should play music by The Who and The Guess Who. Whenever someone is asked "Guess Who is playing this music" or "Who is playing this music", especially to younger people that don't listen to classic rock, they might not know. You can tell them, in a real coy (not Real McCoy) manner, that it is what Horton hears in the Dr. Seuss books. If they guess correctly, they could win a prize. If not, tell them either to really "Guess Who is playing this music" or "Who is playing this music", and see if they catch on.

*The idea for this is from listening to all the times my dad would make us Guess Who was playing the song in the car or he would say Who is playing this song right now and we would guess incorrectly until we caught on. It's a long running dad joke, so you better catch it before it takes off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackPurity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2015
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