Conqueror has a challenger
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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My friends and I like to get together and play polo with our Rams, Challengers, Chargers and Darts...

Dodge ball can become dangerous, but it's fun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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This guy asked my friend if his challenger was a stick

I replied, "No it's a car"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ifoundyourtoad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2015
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[request] As a challenge: Pun about the Harlem Renaissance

I can't think of anything clever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealsung
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. What’s left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"

"The opposite of right!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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Never challenge the grim reaper to a pillow fight....

Unless you’re ready for the reaper cushions!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skrimps1000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Being a teen can be a very challenging, especially when you turn 13.

You're in your prime and everything feels very odd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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In these challenging times, I worry about the virus and keeping a roof over my head.

So I went and got the shingles vaccine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedandsue
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Bumble match challenged me to baker puns reddit.com/gallery/kp6jlx
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alwayslevellingup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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β€œI love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. β€œAll you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. β€œWhat did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...

β€œYou herd me!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion – but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

β€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. β€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”

β€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. β€œLet us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

β€œI see”, said the student. β€œIt’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”

β€œThat’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. β€œYou just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”

His students registered dismay and anguish.

β€œIsn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

β€œAhm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. β€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

β€œSo you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, β€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. β€œAnd he”, he said, turning to his students, β€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomnommish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Challenge: No Nut November Accomplished

New Foreskin Unlocked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fakipo2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I'm gluten intolerant so ordering from Indian restaurants is a challenge.

They all tell me it's naan optional.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aviddd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.

I ran out of thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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My cheap noble challenged the election results.

It was a discount viscount recount.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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It's the opposite day and my friend challenges me in tic tac toe. when it's his turn, he grabs the pencil by his foot. I ask him why and he responds:

"I'm playing the toe tactic"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aglaz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I challenged number 1 to a fight

He bought he friends 3,5,7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Londoner1982
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Don't even think about challenging my French butter sauce...

You will roux the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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You never want to challenge an extreme dieter to a footrace...

Cuz they fast!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight...

Unless you’re prepared to deal with the Reaper cushions.

stolen from r/jokes. Credit to u/shopcounterwill. I don’t know how to link or tag stuff on Reddit

Edit: apparently I do. Haha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmorris82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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So we've been challenged by Little Mart, Forster, NSW to a board off. Who will come out on top?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I challenged my entire family to see who could fast the longest.

You could say my competition is getting slim.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theonlyMOONMAN
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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So we've been challenged by Little Mart, Forster, NEW to a board off. Who will come out on top?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My friend challenged me to a hang gliding race, and he got angry after I beat him.

What a soar loser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Matt Murdock challenged Wilson Fisk, or, one can say...

Daredevil dared evil!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksdesh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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I was challenged to a race by the same British-made car I was driving...

It was a Jag war.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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I just beat a black belt at karate....

My next challenge is a green sock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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We need help naming some murderous cats.

We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.

We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.

We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.

So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.

We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sveil96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I told my friend I was a big fan of Metallica.

He challenged me and asked me to name 3 songs. I told him "I'm sorry. I only know One"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I once challenged an amputee to a swordfight

But he came unarmed :/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pineapple_cherry
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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I became a member of a cult, it’s a group of people that like to be awkward and challenge others.

It’s called the Diffi cult.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Girlfriend challenged me to an Asian Cuisine eating contest

It was a Thai

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolface2k
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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His most challenging role yet.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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Let's all try to stay positive during these challenging times.

So if anyone asks, tell them you're Coronavirus positive πŸ‘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedotmack
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Never Challenge Death to a Pillow fight.....

...Unless you are prepared for the Reaper Cushions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrikkWikkid5150
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Never challenge Death to a pillow fight!

Unless you are ready to handle the reaper cushions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Holy_Kynon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Never challenge Death to a pillow fight

Unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Never challenge Death to a pillow fight

Unless you are prepared to face the reaper cushions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theswarthyknight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Never challenge Death to a pillow fight.

Unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1wbw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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I challenged number 1 to a fight, but he bought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9

The odds were against me

πŸ‘︎ 744
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fl1ppp3rs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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Never challenge Death to a pillow

Unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sebaspa1219
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saibotspons-alien
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Never challenge death to a pillow fight

Unless you’re ready to face the reaper cushions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.

The odds were against me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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I challenged the number 1 to a fight,

but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.

The odds were against me.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolidiot2000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Never challenge death to a pillow fight. Unless you are prepared for the reaper cushions.
πŸ‘︎ 507
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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Never challenge Death to a pillow fight

Unless you're prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshuaFnBoyer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mefingers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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I challenged Death to a pillow fight.

Now I have to face the reaper cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mudpucket2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Never challenge death to a pillow fight....

Otherwise you'll face reaper cushions

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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