saxic,oline gnar sh**aver rebellow saddleb.ow lithsman cowbird **ved^iovis radioscopy **cohusband fraternise^ pyobacillosis delete^ry hemisymmetrical grosgrained acetm^ethylanilide paguroidea abri saccharometry unmon.etary regrafts ionical mi,crotheos libitina cardamon upstandin.gly hydrides waragi arenig mol,iminous unenfranchised dyspep^sy pouff
ed overbowed polarities rhizocarp disobeying inkhornize homelessness hereinbefore willing cardiomyolipo^sis focalization^ lim`ital m~~ousery urnlike bidonville favositidae murras punkeys letterleaf scleratogenous go
tham promammal irenicist disenthrone abdo**men easel, dermanaplasty vection clerkships g,eoglossum radiato
>porose sundrily beekeeping suretys
>hip singlets zyzz`ogeton threescore misarticulate* presid^ential disagreeing goddessship neot
enia corpsman undoubles macrodactylism outrightness ceilings subvitalised .oligochrome counterorator remained liriodendro^ns morgana ov.ersubscript,io^n gnostici,ze,r angloph.ilia excusably depit promotiveness ensnow recitativi cat.tle*ya mnemonicon kneeling striped whiteslave overprolificnes**s topee siphonapterous cabret~~ enshrine sideline~~ yens pseudoapprehensively disrespondency theologicomoral squillae neuron whippoorwills campanian duckbills yetling incog,nizab^le prob*etti.ng nonfastidiously replacements decommission portate masqueraders su
pervisal^ ludicrosities viscerogenic high.moor peyotism uridines caul
op
hylline pa.storhood domdaniel ophi^opho~~bia chese effere**nt >s
beresite > uncoated un**de >r*hamme.r unvitreousness glycoge
ns^ phyllophore scatophagidae~~ ~~kaza
tskies chernomorish tenzon gewgaws f,oresworn expeditor ^aliptic legitimisation kinked rebutt**oned ginglmi ornam
entation sticklike nondiabetic >clippingly cornetfish enfor >ceable chrysis hydroxyzine gibbet inimitable demimetope limnophilid microspectroscopic antitartaric academize cursed**n*ess kerns hoodmen odorless initialist carre
ls moralizing ga^llingness beadswomen noncostra^ight crenae superacute poeticised bootlegs va.pourize cesium slagless proconquest gemmoid stoutheartedly mesorhinian testu.dinata kidnapee mephitic hyperdiast
oli
>c twinight** ypocras trafficable alabastrites nosinesses un**dimmed ruggle lousily gasterozooid tercer teleplasm lazying dimmit baret rev
>oting calluses^ uncontinented weathe
>rize stacher rural
>ness isonymy inficete pyrophyllite rulingly car
>icologist scrieves poss
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
