My wife and I brought the baby home finally. I decided to treat my wife and I for some ice cream to celebrate this operation being a success.

Wife: I'll have Chocolate Fudge Brownie and some Tonight Dough

Me: Dough!

Wife: Stop with the Simpsons joke

Me: Sorry. Here's your ice cream, I hope I didn't leave you deserted.

Safe to say guys, the dad jokes have been on overdrive. Shout-out to my newborn daughter

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📅︎ Jul 16 2022
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Where did the car thieves go to celebrate after a successful robbery?

Carrabba’s.

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📅︎ Feb 01 2021
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After a successful face transplant, Jim decided to celebrate with friends at a bar...

The bartender asks, "Hey Jim, why the wrong face?"

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📅︎ Feb 25 2018
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A salutary lesson. Posted to r/jokes, probably more Dad-like

Certain related tribes in sub-Saharan Africa often raided each other's villages when most folk were herding animals. Sometimes they would take vegetables and water, but more often taking little things, to gently mock each other. It was all in good fun. After a successful raid, the "winning" tribe would celebrate by dancing under the stars, or in one of their large, grass-covered spirit houses.

One day, the Imaqi took their Satari shaman's sceptre. The following day, the Satari not only stole the sceptre back, but also the Imaqi chief's regalia.

It went back and forth, until, on a rare and daring escapade, three Imaqi warriors stole the Santari chief's throne. They put it on display, above their chief's throne in the spirit house.

The Imaqi thought that this was hilarious, and as it was beginning to rain, made merry and danced in the spirit house. Suddenly, the heavy throne on display fell down and killed a number of the dancing revelers.

The moral should be obvious: those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

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👤︎ u/this_is_jq
📅︎ Apr 16 2021
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