Bullying puns
So I'm doing a health project on bullying and I need 3 good puns about bullying to put on posters I wouldn't be asking but I've looked almost everyone and let's face it, you guys are pretty damn good at this stuff so any help would be appreciated.
My ex-best friend used to be really nice to me, but ever since they found out I have flat feet, they've been mean to me and bullying me over it.
They're my arch-nemesis now.
My son said there was a midget bullying him at school.
I told him to stand up to him.
Your bullying neighbor next door decided that the part of your yard with his favorite tree in it is his yard now? Oh, boo hoo...
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
You really shouldn’t bully people that have iron deficiency.
After all, they can’t stand up for themselves.
*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
Why did the Books bully the online dictionary?
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand-new Rolex."
My high school bully once drew a zero on my face with a magic marker
He really did a number on me
I used to bully someone in high school...
Now I'm the one with eczema face.
Apparently you can't use beef stew as a password.
What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up?
Did you hear about the ape that got bullied because of his low status?
First time doing this please no bully
What do you call a potato that bullies all the other potatoes?
Have you heard about that dialect coach who got bullied by his students?
He took up accents against them today
Which kind of popcorn is paranoid and gets bullied often?
Do you know why Bruce Lee never liked vegetables
He was always bullied by his cousin broccolee
Why do crippled people always get bullied?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves
My cross-eyes friend gets bullied for being gay.
It’s because he doesn’t look straight.
To the bullied people out there
You are YOU, and nobody on this planet can change that other than yourself. So don’t let people get to you.
(I say this because I get slightly bullied and also I’m sensitive to what people think of me, but after telling myself this I no longer feel the need to stress about people’s thoughts about me)
Dont worry if a tree tries to bully you...
They're all Bark and no bite
Yeah, you’ve heard of bad dad jokes.
But be glad you haven’t heard of grandpuns.
First time, don’t bully me
A man in a wheelchair stood up against a bully.
Everyone called him a liar.
Where do bullies like to hangout?
What did the peanut say when his cousin was being bullied?
Pecan someone your own size!
A door has been bullied by a gate for a while and has decided to talk to his friend the window about it...
Door: I don't know what to do...
Window: It's going to be okay, you can handle this!
Another very punny joke!
Bully: look at this kid! he’s a shrimp!
Other Kid: I Sea what your sayin.
Why don’t trees ever get bullied?
They always STICK up for each other.
When I went to culinary school, the bullies used to cover me with chocolate and cream, and then put a cherry on my head.
Life was tough in the gateau.
What did mommy toothbrush say to her son when he was bullied at school?
I'm getting bullied
One day I was just walking and then two people came up to me, and told me a funny joke, but they were bullies. It was a joke about fighting and I couldn't get the joke and then one of they guys got really mad because I couldn't get the joke. After two seconds, it hit me, the punchline.
I saw a kid getting bullied by 3 other kids so i decided to step in
He didnt have a chance against the 4 of us
What do twigs do when they are getting bullied?
They stick up for themselves
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
What do you call a bully alligator?
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand new Rolex."
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
What happens when the average bullies in a school goes up.
What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up?
Why are people in wheelchairs always bullied?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up?
Why will an emo pig never be bullied?
Because Batman said he will protect Goth ham.
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